Friday, September 26, 2008
Water is Wet
This just in-- Clay Aiken, Gay. Wow. Really? Who would have guessed? I know when I read that I was completely blown away.
This also just in--Water is fucking wet! I think the press would have blown this up to the limits of ridiculousness that it deserves if the United States financial system wasn't on the brink of disaster. I think they made the wrong choice.
Conspiracy Theory time!
Barak Obama wins the election and then is killed, making Joe Biden, a man who could never get there on his own, President. No one is really surprised because it makes more sense that the Man would never let a black man be President. Hillery Clinton is heard to say, "better him than me."
Conspiracy Theory #2
McCain wins! Whether by hook or crook he is the President of the United States. Oh no! Somehow(let's not say murder because it would never be proved as such anyway), he dies shortly after inauguration. How sad. Hockey mom Palin, oops, that's Vice President Hockey Mom Palin, is now the President of the United States. Wow, who could have forseen such an event? I mean, a totally unqualified person being President after 8 years of another unqualified person being Puppet, I mean President. It looks like the Powers that be have another Puppet in the white house. Let's go invade Iran now! She can see it from her house!
I hope I am wrong. I probably am. Or maybe I will be arrested by the Secret Service. I guess visiting Cuba won't be so bad. Maybe I can get in shape? Get prison big, if you will. Maybe the inmates down there will teach me whatever language they speak? Or teach me the joys of worshiping Allah?
As a side note, I think I may have just used almost every buzzword for the giant supercomputers that monitor all the computers, phones, and data transfers in the United States and other parts of the world. It makes me proud that my tax money is going toward monitoring me because I know I believe myself to be worth spying on. Me and my believing that the system is broken and that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting fucked up the ass like a passed out sorority girl after a kegger in Cabo.
I got to take a shower. No, I don't think that I am going to give myself a happy ending in the shower. I am just going to wash my hair and body and all that fun kind of stuff. Then I have to go to the store. And the bank. And then back here. Sounds like a shit load of fun don't it? It's raining out too. Maybe I can go out and get a nice case of pneumonia? Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake? I have never had pneumonia before but I just have a feeling the way that I have been feeling lately that it is out there. Waiting. Stalking me like a Puma in the jungle. Or a panther? Maybe a jaguar? Some big mean cat stalking through the jungle, waiting for the time to be right until it pounces and sinks tooth and claw into the neck of the beast bringing it down in a burst of power, blood, and violence.
Melodramatic, huh?
Pause...wait for it
So yeah. I went out. Went to the store and did what I had to do. I must say that I absolutely hate the store and everything associated with it. I can't stand waiting in line. I cannot tolerate being behind people who act like they have never in their lives been in a store before.
Oh, by the way. If you are in one of those self check out lines, why don't you have the decency not to have a lot of stuff? I think if you are over the age of 50 you have no concept of how to operate the thing anyway so why bother? They should be in the nature of an automated 12 items or less line. I am behind this woman and she has a cart full of stuff and she is has no idea. At the end all her groceries are piled up on the end of the checkout because she has to bag them all, so have to wait some more. Did I mention that I only had six items? Which brings up point #2. If you do go through the automated check out and you do have a lot of stuff be kind enough to have someone with you so one person can bag while you stand there with you finger up your ass trying to figure out which button to push to end your transaction. Eventually one of the other checkouts was clear so I jumped in that one rather then wait for the bride of Snailzilla to finish bagging her groceries. Who knows, she might still be there.?
That's enough for me right now. Buffy comes on soon or I might watch the debate. Or both. Hell I paid my internet bill, it might be fucking both. Suck my bandwith's ass bitches! Laterzzz....
Just a bit of old school Rock Goodness.
Monday, September 22, 2008
First Day of Fall
Today is the first day of Fall. Summer is over. Good. I didn't have a good summer. I felt like shit most of the year. I hope I have a good fall. I think today's entry will be a good day for just a bunch of random thoughts and tangents. Actual deep thought doesn't appeal to me right now.
Damn. The economy is shit, isn't it? No jobs. Shitty jobs. People going broke. No money. I hope we can all agree at this point that the Bush Presidency falls under the under the category of Epic Fail. At least history will if America makes it through the crisis. Fingers Crossed.
Speaking of failing, Obama and McCain are only going to debate three times. And each debate is going to have a set topic, not many topics with just the format dictated. What a bunch of crap. They should have a bunch of debates. I want to see them have a throw down about the issues and I wanna see who comes out better. They should have at least five. Even if there isn't much of a value in the debates, it is more of a tradition kind of thing. Plus, it's fun. I like watching the candidates dance like trained monkeys. We are going to have to put up with their shit when they are in office we should at least get a bit of entertainment beforehand. And since they won't fight it out in a steel cage or giant robots this is second best.
My new favorite show that is currently on TV is "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia". I guess it is on the FX network but I watch it on Hulu or other various places around the world wide internets web. The show is totally irreverent. It has foul language and adult themes. And it is fucking hilarious. If you are not watching it you should. If you are watching it, watch it more. Wildcard Bitches!!!! (Charlie is the fuckin awesome!).
I watched a documentary called "Bigger, Faster, Stronger". It was about steroids in America but it was actually about more than that. It was about how in America we are all about winning and don't care what we have to do to win. But it is also about how we hate losing, losers, and how we consider the second place just to be the first loser. About the steroids it had some interesting data, like steroids are almost #150 on the list of causes of death in America. Number 1 is alcohol. It said how a lot of the info about steroids is just bullshit. It also showed how those fuckers in Congress had those hearings about steroids in sports and what a colossal waste of time that was. Look, if I could take a pill and dunk a basketball like Jordan and earn millions I would. Most people would and wouldn't give a shit about the side effects or what happened down the road. I think if you want to take shit and put yourself at risk you should be able to. And if taking these things makes you more successful, isn't that what it is all about in this country?
Fuck, this is America ain't it? Freedom means you can fuck up if you want to. That really should have been in the Constitution.
I need to work out. It's not easy to find the willpower, but I need to. I should probably do that soon. More on that at another time.
I always want another cup of coffee. I have said before but I really come as close to loving coffee as it is for a person to love a beverage. Coffee is a second to Diet Coke and Diet Pepsi though. Those are the elixir of life. I know I am addicted and just don't care. They are probably rotting me from inside but what the fuck. Am I right?
I got to get some fucking booze. I am so out of alcoholic beverages it just isn't right. I want some vodka. Maybe I will get some beers? I will definitely pick up some Mike's hard lemonade because that stuff is just so good. I want to get a buzz on. Is that so wrong? Everyone else in the world gets to drink and I am above 21 years old. So I want some damn alcohol. I am going to get some stuff and then one night drink myself into stupid oblivion. I do wish sometimes that alcohol held for me what it holds for others. Truth be told, alcohol has never really done it for me. Yeah a buzz is nice but I have never thought of it as a refuge from reality that some people do. Maybe I just have not drunk enough? That is always a possibility. I will let you know once I get fucked up. Maybe my writing will get better if I get toasted? Worked for other writers in history.
I think that might be it for now. Thank you for not reading. I wouldn't. Hell, I didn't even like writing this one. I don't think it clicked. Or maybe it did and you suck. And not in the good way. The good, mouth hug, mind the step children, hey what are you doing with your finger, wow that feels good, how many tongues do you have, oh my god here it comes, kind of way. Laterzzz...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
End times?
It is 99 days until Christmas. Big fucking whoop huh?
By the time we get there I wonder if the country will be in a full blown depression? I guess it matters who you ask. Some people will say we are not in a depression; which I happen to agree with. Some will say we are not in a recession, either. I don't know about that but I do know that things are costing more.I know that if I buy groceries I am paying more for less I know people are losing their places to live. I know that things in the country seems to be getting worse and not better.
It should be at least a little interesting seeing the news stories coming up about people not buying as much and the stores starting to worry about not being able to buy the latest toys and such. You might be able to pick up a Wii this year though.
I make jokes only because I am a little bit worried. Or a lot worried. I don't know that I want to see people suffer. OK, there are some people I wouldn't mind seeing suffer a little bit. But generally I don't want to see people losing their houses and jobs or go through that hardship. That is just not my style.
My style is, hmmm. I don't think I have a style. I put on clothes but I don't really dress to impress. I try not to wear colors that are too bright. Not because of the way it looks, it's because I have a tendency to spill shit on my shirts.
For example, I was given a white polo shirt at work that actually fit. That in itself is unusual because they usually only have small, medium, large and X-large. Usually if they have any sizes bigger they don't have many and then you get the wanna be thugs who ask for the bigger sizes. I saw this fucking kid once wearing a coat that would have been big on me. He was like a size zero. I was pissed. I liked the fucking coat and this douche had bought it! No wonder fat guys can't find good shit to wear when little Assy McDumbass is shopping in the big and tall section. Fucking cocks.
Anyway, like I was saying I had a white polo. I never wear white unless it is a tee shirt under a shirt. The first day I wear it, being very careful not to spill anything on it, at lunch what happens? Of fucking course I spill a little A-1 sauce on it! Right in the center of the shirt! Right under the buttons! I did everything to try to clean the stain off. Everything. Right now I still have that shirt and there is a shadow of a stain still. It will never be pure white again. Un-fucking-believable.
Signs The World Is Ending
During Hurricane Ike, with all the destruction and that fun stuff we have bona-fid signs of the end of days. I was looking through pictures online and found these pictures:
In this one you can see the dead fish that may or may not have rained from the sky. They also might have been left by flood waters but I do seem to remember that there was a flood mentioned in a certain book. If you know what I mean.
This second picture is even a worse sign. Yup, the dead are rising from the grave. Now before you go getting your shotgun, the dead didn't actually start walking. The flooding waters made the caskets rise out of the ground. There were no actual sign of the undead. But the dead did technically rise from the grave if you want to get literal. FYI--that is why in New Orleans they use to bury the dead in crypts above ground because the annual flooding would make the bodies and coffins start to float. And back in the day before proper sanitation that led to all kinds of nasty problems. And zombies. Don't forget the zombies. Laterzzz...
By the way, leaving me a comment is permitted and you don't have to tell me how awesome I am because I just don't have the money to pay off that many people. Give me a comment let me know a topic and I will write about it because I can. It's my words, my Brain, and my Splatter. Laterzzz Pt 2...
Labels: Christmas, economy, hurricane, undead
Saturday, September 13, 2008
More Random Stuff
Hey there. How's it going? Me? I seem to be OK. I don't know what I want to write about today so let's see where this takes us shall we?
Another hurricane is heading for the U.S. This time it is heading for Texas. Hurricane Ike is what they are calling it. Well, I hope everything goes OK for those people. Hurricanes can be destructive and scary. Uncontrollable forces of nature have a way to make you feel small and insignificant. Like the female orgasm.
Quote of the Day--
“No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which one is true.” --Nathaniel Hawthorne--The Scarlet Letter.
I like that. I think that it applies to the election. I think it applies to myself. I think that it applies to a lot of people. If you present one face to the world for long enough how do you know if that is not your true face? Sometimes we think that we are someone different of the inside then we seem to be on the outside, but are we? What if you just don't know anymore? What do you do then?
Wow, American Chopper is still on TV. I used to watch that show before. I would record wrestling and watch it on Monday nights. It used to be good. I watched a little of it today online. Uh, it's not good anymore. What's with the narrator? Oh well, whatever. Nothing lasts forever. To be fair though, the motorcycles still look pretty good and I guess that is what really matters. I never really cared about the yelling and shit anyway. I like to watch them build the bikes.
I don't know if I would want one of the bikes that they build though. Not because I don't think that they make great bikes, it's just that I don't think those bikes are made for an everyday riding and definitely not for a new rider. They are like works of art. I can't see riding a work of art everyday to work or something. Maybe after a while but not as a novice rider.--Pause
I just went to look for a picture of a motorcycle and the one that I found damn near gave me an erection. I know that sounds funny but I would love to have that fucking bike. So damn cool.
I would hate to lose my cell phone. Not just the fact that I got phone numbers in it that I don't have anywhere else, but what if the asshole that found it ran up all kinds of long distance charges on it? What if they called Istanbul or some other place like that? Then I got to fight with the phone company and shit and who knows how that would turn out? It seems to me as shit gets smaller it just gets easier to lose. I think it is a conspiracy to get you to buy new stuff. Kind of like how everything is made to break. Nothing is made to last anymore. Or to be fixed. Except dogs and cats which you should spade and neuter.
Why do people pay for porn? With the internet there is so much free stuff out there I just can't see paying for it. I suppose if you are into something a little out of the ordinary I guess that might be a reason. Or if you like a certain type of film or something. If you like to see hot chicks wearing ice cream on their head singing the Star Spangled Banner while flogging a guy wearing a Scooby Doo suit while a dwarf dances around holding carrots; you may have to pay for that. But if you are looking just to yank the crank there is plenty out there that is free. I guess someone has to pay ultimately though. Nothing is absolutely free. Somewhere along the line someone has to pay the girls or guys, and the film makers and the producers need their cut. I also suppose that just paying for an internet connection you are in a way paying for porn. Unless you steal that too by hopping on someone's WiFi, but that brings up a whole load of other issues. It's like music and movies. Some is free, some you pay for, and some is just there. In the end everyone pays. Or no one does. Laterzzz...
Monday, September 08, 2008
dat baby
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
Hurricane Gustav
I really dig freaking hurricanes. Not because to of the destruction they create, though that can be fun too. I like them for the coverage on the news.
Take the pics about for instance. Brian Williams is climbing a ladder on a wall next to an industrial canal. Essentially a river. The day before water was pouring over that wall because of the storm surge during the hurricane. Ok, that is news. But why the hell did he need to climb the ladder? I don't know and I don't care, I just love it.
I used to always like watching Dan Rather during a storm. No matter where the storm was he would be there in the middle of it, showing that he wasn't going to let Mother Nature stop Dan Rather from bringing you the News, dammit!
There is no one as good as Danny boy anymore but every time there is a storm they send out teams of reporters to cover the chaos. Hopefully, these crews will be able to document the destructive forces of nature and it's impact on the affected communities. One thing they will definitely be able to do is send in some cool pictures of reporters being blown around by the wind and rain. That is the best stuff. Sometimes the reporters get blown right off camera. Or there are times when you can see the panic in there eyes when they realize they are in the middle of a fucking hurricane. I am waiting for the day when one of the reporters gets take out by a toothpick or some other object moving at a hundred miles per hour. That is good TV.
From what I got from the news, this hurricane caused damage, one person may have died, but all in all it didn't hit New Orleans as hard as it could have. The bad news is there are like 3 tropical systems lined up that may become hurricanes and who knows where the target will be. Should make for good TV whatever happens. Laterzzz...
Labels: hurricane, reporters, TV
Monday, September 01, 2008
Labor Day or Who wants Pie?
Today is Labor Day. September 1st. 2008. Labor Day.
Labor Day is to honor the workers of America, I believe. I could look it up on the net but I just don't feel like it. So because I am writing this I will say that is why it was made up. It isn't like this is one of those countries that has a so called Labor political party. So it can't be for that. I doubt they would have a holiday that was based on women about to give birth so that definition of labor doesn't apply.
But speaking about going into labor, it appears that the new Republican Vice Presidential Nominee's daughter, who is 17 years old, is knocked up. Well, so much for family values huh?
This is what always gets me about so called social conservatives, it's the do as I say not as I do thing. This woman who thinks that she would be able to run the country can't even instill her beliefs in her daughter what makes you think she could inspire a nation? Look, if you believe birth control is wrong, and people shouldn't have sex until marriage, fine. If you are prepared to spread your doctrine to the school children of the country and to,if it was in your hand, eliminate a person's right to an abortion but you haven't even been able to pass that belief on to your kids? I think that shoots down not just the credibility of your argument but also of your worthiness to spread it.
I also believe that in most cases 17 year olds probably shouldn't be having kids. It's not that I think that it is wrong I just think most people are not ready to have kids at that age and they will miss out on lots of life if you have kids so young. At the same time, some people just want to have kids and family. Maybe they just want to be a mom and a dad or they the thing they want most in life is to have a family. That is a valid life choice. People used to have kids a lot younger.
I think what pisses me off more about this whole situation is that some people are not going to mention this about her family. Like it doesn't matter. It does matter. Everything matters when you talk about something like picking a President.
It matters that Obama is black. It matters that Biden is an insider. It matters that McCain is old. It matters what there families are like and how much money they have and who there friends are and what their secrets are.
If you want the job to be the President of the United States you need to have a thick skin. I also think you need the ability, when some douche comes up to you and says, hey your daughter is knocked up; shouldn't she get an abortion? You need to be able to defend your stance against it and why your teachings as a parent failed and why you won't fuck up if you become President, vice or otherwise. And if you can't nut up and answer the douche then you are not the one for the job.
Ok--back on course. What was I talking about. Oh yeah, Labor Day. Workers unite! Throw off the chains of your oppressive masters and take back the land of our fathers!
Heh heh heh. I kill me.I don't quite think that is the point of the holiday. Maybe it should be? More and more the American worker is getting it up the ass. Maybe a little bit of revolution would be a good thing? When was the last time we had a good workers uprising in this country? I say next time a company wants to move jobs overseas, maybe that is the time to burn down the CEO's house? A few firebombings might change peoples' minds about outsourcing, don't you think?
Is this the point where I should say that violence isn't the answer and that only by coming together for change can the world be better and blah blah blah? That's just bullshit, because violence can be an answer. It has been in the past and it will be in the future. The part that is difficult is to know that it isn't always the answer. It really does matter what the question is.
If the question is would you like some pie, the answer is yes. Just thought you would like to know. Let me see if I can find a picture of a delicious pie...that is a great way to end this entry...Laterzzz...
