Brain Splatter

Rosa Parks died today.

In the next few days you will hear and read tributes about and to her. You will hear people saying all she did was sit down. I don't care what they say. This is my blog. I will tell you how I feel. Fuck other people.

She sat down. That scores points in my book. I believe if you can sit,you sit. Standing is what you do when you can't sit. And if you are on a bus and a perfectly good seat opens up and some douchebag tells you that you cannot sit there because of the color of your skin and you say "you got to be fucking kidding", then you are okay in my book. See that is the thing with racism. It's just stupid. But she sat down. And they arrested her, for sitting.

I think it just took stones for her to be able to put her ass down, so to speak, and say no more. And if you hear someone say she didn't do anything, think of this: if someone will arrest you for sitting, what do you think they would do when you say no to them? That is what makes her a hero. She said No. She said no, she wouldn't stand. She said no she wasn't going to put up with the stupidity anymore. If there is one thing I hate more than having to stand for no reason it is stupidity.

Thank you Mrs. Parks for saying no to stupidity. We could use more people like you today.

Laterzzz....

Wow. I really went for the whiny bitch road in that last entry didn't I? Ok. No more of that this time. I think I was just feeling kinda lonesome on a cold rainy night so shit got intense. And I don't mean in a "tonight you get to be tied up while I wear the Lone Ranger mask and boots kind of way."

In fact I feel kind of good. My leg isn't hurting as much and had some pizza earlier. I think I may have to look around on the web and see if I can find a picture or two expressing my happy feelings. Don't worry I am not on a manic upswing. Or maybe I am. I figure if you are going to have the downs you better damn well enjoy the ups.

Speaking of up, this girl came into the office yesterday. Here name is Jessica. Oh my god! She was wearing this witch costume for something that was going on and hell I could have ate her up alive. Now she is all peppy and up no matter what, but she comes in and kicks off her shoes, they were a little big, and the costume is form fitting and kind of low cut, and she is just so happy to be wearing it. And I am happy she was wearing it. She is one of those healthy girls that turn me on so much. Not fat but woman shaped. She got boob which I tried so hard not to be caught looking at when she kind of bent over and she had an ass that--and I am not making this up was barely covered.

The black top she was wearing was kinda lacy near the bottom at the back and it looked like her skirt was falling a bit in back. Now, I didn't see ass crack but part of me was trying not to look to hard. And I couldn't really flirt or point it out to her because some of the harpies that I work with were in the office. They could kill Cheech and Chongs buzz. So mostly when they are there I just kind of act neutered and make no comments about or actions toward any girls.

So I just watched this girl. And talked to her and made her laugh all professional like.I think spending a few weekends with her wrapped around me would be just what the doctor ordered. I hope she comes into the office next time she is working. And I hope I am alone in there when she does.

Laterzzz...

Everything ends. When it ends you don't always know its over. You don't get memos. There are no big ceremonies. Some things just stop. One day it's one way the next day it is another.

Sometimes one thing ends because another thing begins. You may want to ride the rollercoaster forever but eventually you go over the last hill and glide into the station, then the next riders take your place. You should never expect anything to go on forever. It all goes away eventually and you are left in the dark. And no matter who you are, or what you are, or how ever you try to do whatever you must--it ends up just being you.

Then you remember the lesson that you knew but let yourself forget. It is only you. Don't ever count on anyone. It is better never to have loved than loved and loss. Then you don't know what you are missing.

I used to be dead inside. Completly dead. It was better. I wish I felt nothing. I wish I needed no one. I wish that laying here alone was exactly where I want to be. I wish that when I go to sleep the badness won't come and wake me up just as my mind relaxes and the feeling come out in rush making me wake up, robbing me even of the solace of sleep.

I wish I didn't write this and that I wasn't going to publish it. laterzzz...

--this is how I feel now, don't worry things change--

*Unless you are in the path of this big bitch. Yup that is Hurricane Wilma getting ready for her Florida vacation. That would be Florida and the top of the picture. I think Hurricanes are just fascinating. Not just because of the power that they have but just look at it. That is a picture from space! The hurricane dominiates the area that it is over.

If you ever see a picture of Jupiter, you know that there is a big red spot. I believe it is essentially a giant storm. I could be wrong and I don't feel like looking it up right now, let's just assume I am right. Anyway, I always imagine what would happen if one time one of these storms didn't blow itself out over the land? What if it became permanant? I don't even know if that is possible but think about it. A giant hurricane that moves across the globe causing destruction where ever it goes. Like Godzilla. That kind of thing could throw civilization into a lurch. You know they would blame it on global warming.

I think that big red spot on jupiter is like way way bigger than the Earth. Shit. I got to do some research. Be right back...

From Enchanted Learning:

Jupiter's Great Red Spot is a huge, long-lasting storm in the atmosphere of the Southern Hemisphere of Jupiter. It is an anti-cyclonic (high pressure) storm, much like a gargantuan hurricane. Its color is actually pink to orange. This whirlwind varies in size and color from year to year. It is about 17,000 miles (28,000 km) long and 9,000 miles (14,000 km) wide; it is the biggest storm in this solar system. It is so big that the three Earths would fit in it with room to spare. Jupiter's Great Red Spot was discovered in 1664 by Robert Hooke. Part of the reason it lasts so long in comparison with Earth storms (other than the huge difference in scale and the existence of an internal heat source on Jupiter) is that this storm never goes over land; on Earth, hurricanes loses most of their energy and die when they stray over land. The smaller white spots are also giant storms. The colors we see are the result of chemical reactions occurring in the atmosphere.

Ok so there you go. I guess I have used used the internet to expand knowledge in the world. That is scary. I prefer just to read about wrestling and to view porn. You know the way that it was intended. The internet should be about fritting away large chunks of otherwise productive time on useless and hollow pursuits. That and for every jackass to get up on a soapbox and give their opinion about the shit that no one really cares about. Hey, I repemble that remark.

Ok boys and girls, remember, don't get any on ya, Laterzzz...

I haven't thought of a title of this entry. Any suggestions? I could go on like normal; no money, job sucks, tired...blah blah blah. I am not feeling that right now.

What I am feeling is think about the net. I am thinking about all the high tech gadgets and gizmos that we have. I was looking a MP3/digital music players online, it occurs to me this shit is expensive. That may seem like an obvious conclusion to anyone but really think about it for a minute. All of the cutting edge new fangled stuff. say for example the new video Ipod.

[Ok, I tried to put a picture of the damn thing her but for some reason the damn thing won't let me. So if you want to see it go Google it the link is somewhere on the page dammit.]

The point I was trying to get to before technology onlce again failed me was that this expensive stuff. These gadgets are going to go the way of the Atari 2600. Twenty million Ipods and once something that works better, is smaller, and oh yeah, a whole lot cheaper comes along they are going into the bargin basement.

It isn't just that these things are expensive that has me thinking, it is also the fact that you have a lot of people who just won't be able to afford this stuff. Computers and mp3 players and burners and digital phones and such cost money. $200 bucks to me is a lot of money. I am happy for you if you don't feel the same (and feel free to send me some money), but to me it is. I think I could win the three hundred million dollar powerball and two hundred would still seem like a lot of money. And I know that it is a lot of money to a lot of people.

Here is my real question--in a world where it seems like new things come along every two seconds and none of it is cheap and lets be honest here...most of it is unnessary crap--how do you keep up? How do you buy your son or daughter the Ipod that all the friends have? What if you don't have a computer and the only way to find out some information is online?

You thnk that is just a joke? Try finding tax information right now. Go on I will wait. In a few seconds at Google you can find what you need. If you don't have the net then what? I know of schools that put the homework online and send parents information. What about the people with no access? If either because of poverty, or maybe they just ain't into all this techno-crap or possibly they scrimped and saved and bought a computer 3 years before and now they don't have the correct software or hardware so they are just obsolete?

Maybe that is what the poor are in America. I am not talking about homeless and jobless and disenfranchised. I am talking about the working poor. The guys and gal that bust their asses working for minimum wage and then one day they come home to watch TV and oh, yeah it's all gone over to digital so your crappy TV that still has rabbit ears doesn't work? What happens when it is assumed by the ruling elite that everyone is just like they are and that there are no poor so why can't everone just do what they do? They think everyone can go online and knows how or really even wants to and there are no poor kids who would love a computer but let's be honest there is no way mom and dad could afford the monthly ISP fees never mind the cost of the computer.

It's called the digital divide. To me it's sounds more like the have and have nots and even worse, it sounds like a whole lot of "let them eat cake" by the rich and what is left of the middle class.

I need to sleep. Going to be quick. I had the day off so I did some minor stuff.

I got a haircut today. Looks kind of funny but that might just be my head. The barber got all scissorly on my hair. I am normally a clipper type of guy. Oh well. I will throw some gel in it in the morning. It can't look worse than it did.

I watched Blazing Saddles. Ate some pizza. Watched some Firefly. Ordered Knife of Dreams from Amazon and the Gorrilaz cd Demon Days.

Now I have to go to sleep. It is late. Or early. I always hate wrapping my mind around time because there really is no way to lock in on it. Damn realitivity. If I start thinking about it I will get my brain going and then I won't be able to sleep. So now I got to think about happy thoughts. Like naked girls. Naked girls (women) make me happy. Sexy naked women using me for their pleasure. That makes me really happy.

Ok, now I can sleep. Laterzzz...

I am tired.

Nothing new there. But today for some reason I am just out of my mind tired. I am falling asleep in my chair tired. I am about to doze off at lunch tired. So I only got 4 hours sleep.

That is no excuse. I have been trying to drink cola to stay awake and trying to keep myself mentally occupied. You know me though, I am mostly mentally unoccupied. The bitch on the bunch is that I will probably go home and lay down and not be able to go to sleep. That will be a pain in the ass.

Speaking of pains in the ass, I got a disc from Netflix in the mail last night. I was expecting disc 3&4 of Firefly the series which my friend Laurel, that hippie, recommended to me. Generally, Netflix is pretty good with getting the movies out to you when they say that they will. So last night I open my mailbox, in the rain and there is only on disc inside. I know without seeing it that this is disc 4. That is just the way my freaking luck rolls. But to give myself the benefit of the doubt I go inside and open the envelope and sure enough it is not disc 3 so that I can continue on with the series in order, but the aforementioned disc 4. So no Firefly for me last night. That damn disc 3 better be in the fucking mail today when I get home!

I leave soon. Maybe I will write more Laterzzz...

Went to Walmart tonight. The Mart. Wally-world. I must be honest, no matter what people say about Wal-mart, if you are looking for an umbrella you can certainly find a $3 one there. I did. I also bought some batteries, some cleaning supplies, soda(can't live without that), and a DVD--From Dusk til Dawn.

I didn't plan on buying the DVD and I will probably have buyer's remorse over it because that is just my nature. And now I am thinking that the fucking thing better be widescreen or I am going to get really pissed off. It must be. It's a special edition with all kinds of stuff on it like commentaries, deleted scenes, and making of's.

If you havn't seen the movie it is really good and I recommend it. It is like a Pulp Fiction meets uh...something with vampires in it. I am not going to go into the whole story if you want to rent it go here . And rent the movie Oldboy while you are at it. Fucking good flick.

That is all for me right now. I got to get up early in the morning so that I can go to work so that I can come home and get ready to go to work so that I can come home. It seems I just work so that I am able to have a place to stay while i wait to go to work. Is this what every body does? Isn't that a stupid way to live? Shouldn't we work to live and not live to work? I mean if you have a real important and fulfilling job--like Hugh Hefner or Seymour Butts--that's one thing. But I work in a freaking Indian Casino! I am amazed by how serious some of these people take their jobs. That is how fascism starts. There is no way a really laid back society could spawn Nazis. You only get them when people are too fucking serious. Seriously. Laterz...

Ever just had one of those years?

Today was the first day this autumn when I could see my breath in the morning. I guess that means that winter is officially on its way. I think I need to get a coat. Maybe a heavy jacket. At the very least I have to get my hat, gloves, and long sleeve shirts ready to go. I can't forget to look at books either.

I wonder if it will be a rough winter. Last winter was rough. It got cold and it stayed cold. The snow that fell came and stuck around, like herpes. I like it in winter when it gets a bit chilly and then every once in a while it snows and then it gets warm and melts. I don't mind cold, but the snow really pisses me off. At least the snow on the sidewalk does. People don't know how to shovel a fucking sidewalk for the life of them. You don't just shovel a 6 inch path through the snow, asshole! You clear the damn snow away off the sidewalk and you especially clear away where all the ice would build up! Is it really that hard? I mean if you can't do it yourself, hire someone. If I fall on your property because of the half-assed job you did shoveling the sidewalk, I am suing your no-sidewalk-knowing-how-to-shovel-properly-ass.

This is the time of the year that messes with you a bit though. You go out in the morning and it is cold, so you put on a jacket or something long sleeved. Then by the time you leave work it is warm and your balls start to sweat. I don't like my balls to be sweating for no good reason. And I don't especially like my balls to be sweating when it is autumn and balls should not sweat in the fall. That should be like a law or something. It's bad enough in the summer when you don't have to be doing anything and it is so hot that your balls are sweating, your ass is sweating, you back is sweating, hell you are one big sweating piece of crap and you aren't even doing anything. You are not even breathing too much because it's so hot that even breathing makes you sweat. Then when you go to get up you stick to the seat; fucking beautiful.

That is over with. Hopefully. Allah be praised. I just want to slip into a nice cold winter without much snow so I don't have to call out for work so that my points(the marks of how many days you called out) can decrease to a sufficient level so that I am not in danger of being fired if I call out. In other words I don't want to have to call out in case I need to or want to call out. Get it? Laterzzz.

I wrote this like last week but didn't get around to posting it because I am a lazy bitch~FYI