Friday, September 26, 2008
Water is Wet
This just in-- Clay Aiken, Gay. Wow. Really? Who would have guessed? I know when I read that I was completely blown away.
This also just in--Water is fucking wet! I think the press would have blown this up to the limits of ridiculousness that it deserves if the United States financial system wasn't on the brink of disaster. I think they made the wrong choice.
Conspiracy Theory time!
Barak Obama wins the election and then is killed, making Joe Biden, a man who could never get there on his own, President. No one is really surprised because it makes more sense that the Man would never let a black man be President. Hillery Clinton is heard to say, "better him than me."
Conspiracy Theory #2
McCain wins! Whether by hook or crook he is the President of the United States. Oh no! Somehow(let's not say murder because it would never be proved as such anyway), he dies shortly after inauguration. How sad. Hockey mom Palin, oops, that's Vice President Hockey Mom Palin, is now the President of the United States. Wow, who could have forseen such an event? I mean, a totally unqualified person being President after 8 years of another unqualified person being Puppet, I mean President. It looks like the Powers that be have another Puppet in the white house. Let's go invade Iran now! She can see it from her house!
I hope I am wrong. I probably am. Or maybe I will be arrested by the Secret Service. I guess visiting Cuba won't be so bad. Maybe I can get in shape? Get prison big, if you will. Maybe the inmates down there will teach me whatever language they speak? Or teach me the joys of worshiping Allah?
As a side note, I think I may have just used almost every buzzword for the giant supercomputers that monitor all the computers, phones, and data transfers in the United States and other parts of the world. It makes me proud that my tax money is going toward monitoring me because I know I believe myself to be worth spying on. Me and my believing that the system is broken and that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting fucked up the ass like a passed out sorority girl after a kegger in Cabo.
I got to take a shower. No, I don't think that I am going to give myself a happy ending in the shower. I am just going to wash my hair and body and all that fun kind of stuff. Then I have to go to the store. And the bank. And then back here. Sounds like a shit load of fun don't it? It's raining out too. Maybe I can go out and get a nice case of pneumonia? Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake? I have never had pneumonia before but I just have a feeling the way that I have been feeling lately that it is out there. Waiting. Stalking me like a Puma in the jungle. Or a panther? Maybe a jaguar? Some big mean cat stalking through the jungle, waiting for the time to be right until it pounces and sinks tooth and claw into the neck of the beast bringing it down in a burst of power, blood, and violence.
Melodramatic, huh?
Pause...wait for it
So yeah. I went out. Went to the store and did what I had to do. I must say that I absolutely hate the store and everything associated with it. I can't stand waiting in line. I cannot tolerate being behind people who act like they have never in their lives been in a store before.
Oh, by the way. If you are in one of those self check out lines, why don't you have the decency not to have a lot of stuff? I think if you are over the age of 50 you have no concept of how to operate the thing anyway so why bother? They should be in the nature of an automated 12 items or less line. I am behind this woman and she has a cart full of stuff and she is has no idea. At the end all her groceries are piled up on the end of the checkout because she has to bag them all, so have to wait some more. Did I mention that I only had six items? Which brings up point #2. If you do go through the automated check out and you do have a lot of stuff be kind enough to have someone with you so one person can bag while you stand there with you finger up your ass trying to figure out which button to push to end your transaction. Eventually one of the other checkouts was clear so I jumped in that one rather then wait for the bride of Snailzilla to finish bagging her groceries. Who knows, she might still be there.?
That's enough for me right now. Buffy comes on soon or I might watch the debate. Or both. Hell I paid my internet bill, it might be fucking both. Suck my bandwith's ass bitches! Laterzzz....
Just a bit of old school Rock Goodness.
