Tuesday, September 16, 2008
End times?
It is 99 days until Christmas. Big fucking whoop huh?
By the time we get there I wonder if the country will be in a full blown depression? I guess it matters who you ask. Some people will say we are not in a depression; which I happen to agree with. Some will say we are not in a recession, either. I don't know about that but I do know that things are costing more.I know that if I buy groceries I am paying more for less I know people are losing their places to live. I know that things in the country seems to be getting worse and not better.
It should be at least a little interesting seeing the news stories coming up about people not buying as much and the stores starting to worry about not being able to buy the latest toys and such. You might be able to pick up a Wii this year though.
I make jokes only because I am a little bit worried. Or a lot worried. I don't know that I want to see people suffer. OK, there are some people I wouldn't mind seeing suffer a little bit. But generally I don't want to see people losing their houses and jobs or go through that hardship. That is just not my style.
My style is, hmmm. I don't think I have a style. I put on clothes but I don't really dress to impress. I try not to wear colors that are too bright. Not because of the way it looks, it's because I have a tendency to spill shit on my shirts.
For example, I was given a white polo shirt at work that actually fit. That in itself is unusual because they usually only have small, medium, large and X-large. Usually if they have any sizes bigger they don't have many and then you get the wanna be thugs who ask for the bigger sizes. I saw this fucking kid once wearing a coat that would have been big on me. He was like a size zero. I was pissed. I liked the fucking coat and this douche had bought it! No wonder fat guys can't find good shit to wear when little Assy McDumbass is shopping in the big and tall section. Fucking cocks.
Anyway, like I was saying I had a white polo. I never wear white unless it is a tee shirt under a shirt. The first day I wear it, being very careful not to spill anything on it, at lunch what happens? Of fucking course I spill a little A-1 sauce on it! Right in the center of the shirt! Right under the buttons! I did everything to try to clean the stain off. Everything. Right now I still have that shirt and there is a shadow of a stain still. It will never be pure white again. Un-fucking-believable.
Signs The World Is Ending
During Hurricane Ike, with all the destruction and that fun stuff we have bona-fid signs of the end of days. I was looking through pictures online and found these pictures:
In this one you can see the dead fish that may or may not have rained from the sky. They also might have been left by flood waters but I do seem to remember that there was a flood mentioned in a certain book. If you know what I mean.
This second picture is even a worse sign. Yup, the dead are rising from the grave. Now before you go getting your shotgun, the dead didn't actually start walking. The flooding waters made the caskets rise out of the ground. There were no actual sign of the undead. But the dead did technically rise from the grave if you want to get literal. FYI--that is why in New Orleans they use to bury the dead in crypts above ground because the annual flooding would make the bodies and coffins start to float. And back in the day before proper sanitation that led to all kinds of nasty problems. And zombies. Don't forget the zombies. Laterzzz...
By the way, leaving me a comment is permitted and you don't have to tell me how awesome I am because I just don't have the money to pay off that many people. Give me a comment let me know a topic and I will write about it because I can. It's my words, my Brain, and my Splatter. Laterzzz Pt 2...
Labels: Christmas, economy, hurricane, undead
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Delivery for Mr. Biff
I told myself I would be doing some writing today. I just don't have any idea what I want to write about. I don't just mean this here entry in Splatter. I mean that I want to write a story but I have been feeling somewhat lacking in that department lately.
I haven't watched the news yet today so I am not quite sure what to be angry about yet. The news makes me angry. Because you see the stupidity of people, the heartlessness, and the cruelty. I don't like that kind of stuff unless I am the one being stupid, heartless, and cruel. Then everything is A-okay. Hell, given the right circumstances a little cruelty could be a good thing.
"That's what she said."
So, what do I want to eat for dinner tonight? Well, pussy comes to mind but I was looking in the pantry and I guess I am out. I need to hang a list on the fridge that next time that I go shopping I have to pick some of that up.
If you could have pussy delivered to the the house, that would end the energy crisis. Most of the mail population would never leave the house. You would just keep ordering in like Chinese food. No cars would ever get driven except by the delivery drivers who would either have to be women or gay. So then there would be plenty of oil. Of course there would be no one to do the drilling because like I said, all the guys would be at home, eyeballs deep in poon.
That is because us men are pigs. We want to eat, shit, fuck, and then lay in a comfortable spot while taking a nap and then starting all over again. You have to remember that. I do. I am comfortable with my with my male side. I don't let it dominate me...
...up to 15% of the time!
Random shit on my mind--I am getting tired of this set up for my page. I got to see about changing the layout. It's not that hard, I just need to invest the time and find the inclination to do it. I like a nice straightforward design. I don't like all kinds a gizmos and fucking widgets.
Which brings me to something else. When you put one of those fucking music things on your page--you know the ones I mean that turn on all loud--make fucking sure that it is one that can be turned off! Nothing will make me click away from a page faster than having to fucking listen to some shitty fucking song that I can't even turn off.
They say when you leave things plugged in but turned off, they are still using electricity and that you should should totally unplug appliances and shit that you are not using. Huh? Wait. If something has an off button, shouldn't that like turn it off? Off means no power, not working, dead. I can see if it's something with a clock or something like that but if I leave my radio plugged in and it's off, it shouldn't be sucking up the juice. Least that is what I think. Wait. Shit. My radio has a clock in it. Dammit. Nevermind.
I just heard two stories today about Christmas. One was how retailers are starting to prepare for Christmas now, in July, with 146 days left to go. The other was about how because of the economy the price of everything this Christmas is going to go up. Which means that retailers will be trying harder to get between me and my money.(Assuming I had any.)So don't be surprised if the decorations start going up a little early this year. So this year you can buy your Halloween costume and X-mas decorations at the same time. Which would actually save you a trip later in the year and therefore save money. Wow, it's almost like they are doing us a public service!
I think I am going to make some brownies. Laterzzz...
Labels: Christmas, delivery, pigs, pussy
Monday, December 17, 2007
The only gift that I do have to get is a damn secret Santa thing for this guy at work. I think I am going to take the pussy way out and get a Dunkin Donuts gift certificate or wahtever it is that they have.
Now don't get me wrong. I am not a Scrooge or anything. I am just a a lousy shopper. What do you get for people who can get whatever they want to get for themselves? I also must confess, I kept putting it off this year. I should have had my shopping done earlier in the month. I should have ordered shit off the internet, but I kept putting it off and putting it off. Now here we are with seven days left and I am not going to pay for all the extra shipping. The Jewish side of my personality isn't letting me pay that much for shipping if it isn't an emergency.
So where does that leave me? I guess it is gift cards and that is about it. They always say it the thought that counts and yet we still give presents. Is that ironic?
I kind of feel bad for not finding the perfect gift; if such a thing exists. Well, I don't really feel that bad. I would rather spend time with the people that I care about. I guess the holidays kind of magnify what a shit you are the rest of the year and if you can't at least be decent to the people you love at this time of year you really are a fucking loser.
The biggest regret I have this year is that through my own apathy, I am in the same place I was last year. Or if anything,I feel worse then I did then. I need to change my life. Now. Laterzzz...
Labels: apathy, Christmas, loser
