Brain Splatter

Today’s edition of people who piss me off is weathermen, or should I call them weather people? Fuck it, they can be weather-ball-lickers for all I care. OK, to be fair, there are a few who are not too bad. I actually kind of like the ones for Channel 8 here in CT. That would be www.wtnh.com if you were so inclined to check it out.

The other local TV weather people? They just suck. I will tell you why, and it has nothing to do with their forecasts being off, well, it has a little to do with that. I was watching the weather report for another station. The guy is going all on about how we are going to be getting some severe cold and that it looks like we are going to get snow. A whole whopping two inches of snow and the guy is going on like it’s a fucking blizzard. I swear he had a raging hard-on for the possibility that it would be cold and snowy. So at the end of his report I am under the impression that it is going to be super duper cold and that we will get what will be an annoying amount of snow.

Before I go to bed, just to be sure I read the forecast from the WTNH website. They said it would be cold (it is winter after all) and a little light snow that might stick to the grass. No big deal.

It turned out not to be a big deal at all. There were some flurries. The snow hit the ground and melted. It is cold. The thing is, you hear people talking about how it’s supposed to be as cold or colder then it has been all year and losing their fucking minds because it is chilly. I blame the fucking weather assholes. They have to blow everything up into a damn situation just to give the fucking forecast.

I lost my train of thought. I began writing this at work and I was all filled with worthless indignation but I have lost the vibe. Dammit. I hate it when I am irrationally angry at a useless subject and then forget what I was pissed at. In fact I am so pissed off about it that I might have to make it the topic of tomorrows rant. I will call it, "When assholes bitch about other assholes and then forget what they were bitching about." Sounds like a good idea, huh? Laterzzz...

// posted by Biff Manly @ 1:59 AM 1 comments

I need to write something. I don't know what. I had a kind of crappy weekend. I been sick. That is all I will say on that. You don't want to know more.

Speaking of being sick, have you done your taxes yet? I have and I must say fuckers--fucking government pig fuckers! What the hell is so important that they have to take my little bit of cash? I make dick for a living. It's true. I am firmly in the lower class, barely above the poverty limit. I work forty hours a week and still barely make ends. So what the hell good does my tiny, oh so tiny bit of taxes do? I am all for paying my share, but come on, you can't tell me that all these corporations are paying theirs? You know why? They can buy lawyers and lobbyists and accountants so they end up not paying taxes at all. Truth be told the government probably ends up paying them money for some damn pork project like building a statue to some senators ass that they kissed.

If you think I am playing just take this for example. They are going to give the oil companies a free pass on paying for the oil that take off of public land. In essence the damn Bush government is going to give the oil companies the oil that we are going to end up paying for anyway. They say that it will lower the price. You believe that shit? Why the hell would they charge less when they are already charging too much? The oil companies are making more money than ever and they claim poverty. Come on don't tell me it's raining while you are pissing on my neck.

I was watching a show, it had an oil guy on, he said the oil company is not to blame, they are not gouging prices. He said the record profits are because the oil company is paying more for oil in the first place. Wait. A profit is what you have after you have paid your bills. Earnings is what you take in, but profit is what you have left. They are making the highest earnings ever, they are also making the highest profit ever. Oil companies are not just breaking even. Why would they? The price is higher then ever. They are rolling in it like pigs in shit. How do you know? They are doing ads about not using oil. Believe that? That is like a crack dealer saying," you should go easy on the crack basehead". Or your heroin dealer recommending that you not buy so much heroin from him.

So we are going to give them free oil, pay a lot for it when we buy it back, and say thank you as they stick it up our asses at tax time and pay nothing because they didn't make that much money. Makes you fucking sick. Laterzzz...

// posted by Biff Manly @ 2:28 AM 0 comments

It snowed here in the state of Connecticut yesterday. It snowed a lot. We had what I guess will officially be know as the Blizzard of '06, (pronounced 'ought-six). Least it will unless we get another blizzard sometime before summer or get one later in the year when winter once again comes rolling through. It is comical how people do lose their minds about snow. Not that snow can't be dangerous, but a when ever it snows people go into a frenzy. And they get superstitious. I don't care if you never looked twice at ladder when walking under it, or if you light three on a match, or you step on a crack in effect breaking your mothers back, when the snow comes people around here rush to the store and buy milk and bread.

I think I talked about the whole milk and bread thing before but let me just go over it. When disaster is coming but especially snow, if you go to the store you will be hard pressed to locate milk and bread. For some reason, and I don't know if this a New England think or just a Conn. thing, but people go to the store and buy milk and bread. I have never been able to figure out why except maybe it goes back to the farming roots? Maybe with milk and bread you have enough nutrients to at the very least make it through a few days of loss of power? I really do not know. So it ends up being a kind of joke, "Oh my God, a storm is coming! I must go and get milk and bread!" They even mention it on the news how when storms are coming the stores order extra milk and bread and that yes, people are making sure to stock up. Maybe it's that with milk and bread you can make bread pudding, which is quite tasty?

Tomorrow is Valentine's day. So I thought I would post a heart on my page. Do you like it?

I have some thoughts when it comes to VD as I will refer to it. The thoughts are: fraud, made up, bullshit, commercial, who needs it, and women are not really into this day are they?, and if they are how ridiculous. At the same time I am going to pull out the hypocrite card and say that if I was with someone in a boyfriend capacity and she was into the day I would probably do something special for her to acknowledge it. Not because of any validity of the holiday but just because it would make her smile. If you in a relationship there are things you just do. Plus, then she will be grateful and do some of those naughty things that you been asking for. So, win-win situation.

Then there is the whole romance thing. I know some guys act like they are too cool or that they are not into it, but I think it is kind of cool to do things for a girl if you are into her. I know that reading or writing poetry or stories can be considered corny to some, but I really don't give a fuck what some have to say. I mean the opinions of others mean very little to me about most unimportant issues so why in the hell should it mean anything to me in something that matters to me? It shouldn't and it doesn't.

I am not going to go into what I have done, or what I would do, or even some ideas I have for the future to make a special someone feel special. I just know that if you care about someone you really should show it to them on more than just one day during a year. You should tell them how you feel no matter what the calender says.

That brings us to the really difficult part,finding someone. I have no ideas for that. Hell, if I was good at that I would be getting some right now instead of getting out my energy writing a rant don't you think? OK, I would still write but it would be short and incoherent, or more incoherent--assuming that is possible. Whatever. Everwhat? I got to go. Have a good VD if you aren't getting any and if you are, fuck off you bragging bastard. Laterzzz...

I can't think of any one thing interesting to write about today. I guess today will be one of those days of random disconnected thoughts that I am known so well for. I am going to write on this thing here and there, so if I make less sense the usual, too bad

Sense of Humor

Reading about the Muslim reaction to those comic strips makes me think only one thing--We have got to make more fun of these people. They are a fucking joke. If you are so bent out of shape over a comic strip that you set buildings on fire and hurt and kill people, you have got your priorities way, way out of whack. So forget dropping bombs on them and trying to bring them democracy. Let's just send comics books over there and it will piss them off so much that they will try to fight us. Then we can kill them as much as we want because they will have started it. Sounds like a good plan if you ask me. On a serious note it makes me worried because when you are dealing with a culture who priorities are sofar out of whack how the hell can you ever have peace? It might be like the Nazis and Japanese during WW2. You have to kill enough of them that the rest have have a fundamental shift in viewpoint. Or at least until they no longer pose a danger to the world.

Boots

I have a pair of boots that I got for Christmas that I have not worn. When I first got them the laces were too short. So I got new laces. I have not put the laces on the boots. I have no idea if the new laces are any better than the old laces. See the think is I wanted a pair of boots because if it shows the shoes I have really could not be more slippery if they were coated in oil. But since I have got the boots it really hasn't snowed in any significant way(knock on wood). If I take the boots out of the box maybe that will break the magic and it will snow heaps? I don't want any snow. It's just gonna bring problems this year. Then again I don't want to wear the boots for the first time only when it snows. I need you break them in you know? I don't know if that is considered being superstitious or not? Does it count as superstitious if it works? I guess I should get them ready. They are actually good looking leather boots.

Birthdays

Today is my Sister Lisa's birthday. She was born in 1978. During a big fucking blizzard. She has been a topic of my ranting. She annoys me, and can piss me off worse than anyone. I just want to say, for the record, that I love her to death and she is good sister for the most part, I guess. HAHAHAHA! It is also my ex-girlfriend, current friend, (I know she hates when I call her a "friend" but the term non-enemy just doesn't pop), Tami's birthday. Happy Birthday to her, also.

Polar Bears

The government is thinking about putting Polar bears on the protected species list. Some scientists are saying that because of the warming of the Artic their homes on the ice will be threatened. See the bears pretty much spend their lives on the ice, hunting for seals. Seal is quite tasty too a polar bear. Actually, anything a polar bear can get its paws on is tasty as polar bears will hunt and eat whatever it can, even people. I like polar bears. I respect them. They are big and strong and you just can't trust them. You fuck up and they will end you. It always amuses me how we use such a dangerous animal to sell Coke at Christmas. I have seen on one of those nature shows, there is a town in either Alaska or Canada where the polar bears migrate through during the year. Pretty much you have to make everything, like the front door, bear-proof or else they will get it. And when bears and humans meet, nature decides who lives and dies. It's not gentle but it is natural. "Nature red in tooth and claw..." But this picture has nothing to do with that. I just like it.

Taxes

I have to do my taxes. I hope I get a lot of my money back. They took out so much. It just isn't fair. They screw single low income people. What the hell does my little bit of tax money buy? Does it buy enough gas to start up a tank? I know it's not enough to send a kid to school for even half a year. I think if you make under a certain amount of money, say thirty grand, they shouldn't take out taxes. Who the fuck can live on less then that? I think they ought to make Congress and other politicians live on that and see how well they do. At the same time if you are making over a hundred grand a year and you complain about not being able to afford shit, you need to shut the fuck up. Pay your taxes and don't be a whiney fuck. I mean anyone with a little discipline can live good on a hundred K. Real good. And don't get me started on the rich. Yeah, I would love to join them. And if I do,(come on Powerball), I will bitch about my taxes. But I will pay them. And be happy about it. The government needs to just throw out the current tax code and start over. Make it a simple percentage system with no deductions. Make corporations pay what they should without all this asset hiding shit and use the IRS to get the money that is hidden. It will never happen though. There is nothing that will fight harder then a lawyer trying to keep their job. If the tax system was simplified who would need tax lawyers. It will never happen. Same with the justice system. It will never be reformed because of the lawyers. Least until the revolution comes and we most of them. I say most because we will keep some alive to use as organ donors and to hunt down politicians. Lawyers will point out a politician like a compass points the North Pole. First time a lawyer would ever be good for anything.

Think that is it. I might add more Laterzzz...

The Super Bowl was blah. The commercials. Blah. Halftime show, preshow, postshow, blah cubed. What they got to do is get rid of the singers at half time and make the Lingerie Bowl standard fair. I like football. Men like football. I say to hell with the freaking censors. Bring on the skin.


The only problem that I have is that I think it ought to be Panties versus Bras. And it shouldn't be tackle. While girls tackling girls does have its appeal, I think it would be a much better game if it was flag football. The person with the ball is tackled when the bra or panty, as the case may be, is removed. Of course everything would be held in place with Velcro. Now that would be a game worth watching. Laterzzz...