Brain Splatter

Well Jobless claims have reached a 16 year high. Way to go America! Actually it is very serious because unemployment only goes for so long. So after you lose your job you get to be poor and then if you still can't find work you get to be homeless. Nice country we have here that puts people on the street for just being poor.

At least the holiday shopping season is about to start because this way we can celebrate unchecked consumerism. The news media can avoid reporting on the state of people who don't have enough food and such and stick to reporting on the new Tickle Me Elmo or the scarcity of the Nintendo Wii.

Oh, I love this one, check out this picture.

In this image from NASA TV, a tool kit bag, center, as seen through the helmet camera of astronaut Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, floats away from the International Space Station after she lost hold of it during a procedure during a 6 1/2-hour scheduled space walk outside the space station, Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008.(AP Photo/NASA TV)

Fucking excellent.

100 Grand just floating away because someone didn't use a piece of rope. The just shows the whole space program in a nutshell. I am all for the space program. I just think that there is a lot of stuff done wrong. I like the shuttle but it seems a little over blown. We need a more workman like shuttle program. Everything doesn't have to look pretty but it should work. I also think that they need to get some sponsors up on that stuff. If it can work for Nascar, why can't we put stickers on the shuttle? Patches on the spacesuits? The big fuel tank on the launch pad should be decorated to look like a giant can of Diet Pepsi. I say let big business put up a little cash.

I also think they need to sell some rides on the space shuttle. Why just astronauts? How about some millionaires? They would pay for the ride. Or maybe hold a national lottery. You put in a buck and if you win you get to go into space. How many millions could they raise and what would it cost them? A seat? Come on, it's not that difficult to train someone to go into space. I think all that astronaut training is if you need to fix shit or drive the shuttle. Learning to use the toilet and a few other things can't take much longer than a week or two. I would put in a few bucks what the hell?

Ok, here is one good one. A girl went four months without a heart. She had a transplant, the heart wasn't good. Then when there was no heart available the doctors put artifical pumps in her to keep her alive. She had to be attached to a photocopier sized machine to keep it pumping. Then she got a new heart. But for all that time in between, nothing.

Now that is kind of cool. Imagine what it would be like not having a heart beat. I am sure the machines were loud enough but not having the heart beating must have been strange as hell. Usually the only time your heart doesn't beat is right at the end. And usually you have other things on your mind if you are aware of it.

I have wished I wasn't breathing before. But that was when I sick and it hurt to breathe because I had a headache or flu or whatever. Oh, and that one time my nose was whistling and no matter how many times I blew it I had that damn whistle up in there. It damn near drove me insane. At that time I was wishing that I could stop breathing. But then I snorted some nose spray or whatever and all was better. Yay for happy endings.

Ha, Ha! Some assclown at Taco Bell is getting the company sued because they sent a fake letter to 50 Cent (or Fiddy as we say in the hood) to ask him to change his name for a day to 79 Cent, 89 Cent, or 99 Cent to promote the dollar menu. They offered to give $10K to Fiddy's favorite charity. Apparently Fiddy's lawyers figure they can make more with a little green-mail. They filed a lawsuit for trademark infringement. Fiddy must like El Polio Loco or Del Taco. I bet that they get a bit more than 10 grand in the end. Go Fiddy! Get your money! Lawsuits! The better than crime to make money.

Now the hippies are after video game machines. They are saying that the Xbox and the PS3 and to a lesser extent the Wii use a lot of electricity even if they are off. So they want you to turn off your systems when not in use. I really don't have a problem with that. I think that you should turn shit off. It's like people leaving their computers on 24/7. Why? I say turn the damn thing off if it is not being used. It doesn't help that some of the machines make is so hard to turn off. You have to shut down this and wait for that and dock this and its just takes so long. Turning something off should be easy. Hit the off switch and it is off. Is that so damn difficult? Why do things have to be so hard?

Now a new feature--Biff's Awesome Christmas gifts. I almost said "holiday" but fuck that. I celebrate Christmas. And sometimes Xmas. But hell, if you get me a present I will celebrate whatever you want me too. Our first one is the Obama Commemorative Plate. That needs to go on toilet lids or curio cabinets across the nation! Laterzzz...

Labels: gifts, news, Obama, space program

// posted by Biff Manly @ 6:25 PM