Brain Splatter

I want to see a movie where a mad scientist uses genetic engineering to cross a Cheetah and a Great White Shark. I think that would be cool. It would be the fastest, deadliest killing machine to walk the planet. And it can swim.

I know you are thinking to yourself, "why would anyone cross those two animals together?" That is a good point. But I have an answer to that. The reason someone would do that is that they could. We are talking about a mad scientist. He or she could be an evil mad scientist or maybe they just wanted to see if they could do it. If I was a mad scientist I know that making weird new shit would be half the fun.

I would go to scientist convention (mad or otherwise) and show off the CheetahShark® (CheetahShark® is a registered trademark of Brainsplatter, LLC. All rights reserved). I would have it under heavy sedation, of course, because if there is one thing you don't want running around is a fully conscious CheetahShark®. I think the other scientists would be astounded. They would probably also be jealous. While they were busy making things to save the world or make life easier,(again, except for the evil, mad ones), you are making things that are getting the attention. At the gala awards banquet that night, how could I not end up being recognized with the the Albert Einstein coolest scientist award? And it would be well deserved.

Back to my movie. In it there would probably be the standard group of nubile teenagers and one by one they would be dispatched by the voracious appetite of the CheetahShark®. I don't know at this time how to get a shower scene into the movie but I suppose you could have a bathing scene in a river. After all, if you have are going to have the nubile coeds, you have to have the required nude scenes. It is required after all. That is the one thing that a good horror movie needs, tasty female nudity.

I suppose that everyone in the movie doesn't have to be a coed. You would need a good scientist to oppose the bad one. We would need a Native American medicine man or an African Witch Doctor. They could be the ones talking about messing with the delicate balance of nature or some such thing. If we have some environmentalist guys it would be cool if they were dispatched in a truly great way. Not because I don't believe in taking care of the environment, I just find that most tree-huggers are just pompous fucks who usually make you want to burn down a rainforest rather than save one. Especially if you took them out in the fire.

The coolest part of the whole movie, besides the name, CheetahShark®, would be the special effects. First of all you would need a kick ass anamatronic CheetahShark®. And then you would need some computer effects. The most important thing would be that the thing doesn't look all cheesy. Cheesy effects can kill a movie. Fantastic effects can make a okay little movie into a cult classic. Effects though don't make all things better. Some times, no matter how much you polish a turd, all you end up with in the end is a turd.

Oh, forgot to mention. My movie would need a story, dialogue, and ending that is final and yet leaves open a possibility of sequels. Like maybe a nest of eggs. Hell, it worked for Jurassic Park. But boy did those sequels suck. Laterzzz.