Saturday, January 28, 2006
Positive Attitude
So what makes me think that I am losing my mind? I am feeling good that is what. I get nervous when I feel good because I know that feeling bad is just around the corner. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it? God, I got to get out of that mindset.
I have been trying to keep a positive outlook going. I been trying to do the things that I am supposed to do. You know, eat right, clean the house, and get up for work at a decent time instead of running for the door like a fucking madman. It is about listening to that voice inside your head that tells you to do the right thing. For example, you meet a girl with a tasty rack(fine hooters, nice yabbos, you pick), and a low cut top; your impulse being an all-American male is too stare, drool, and maybe wolf whistle. But the voice in your head says, "No!" That would not be right. Have to look her in the eyes!" So you do. Then when she walks away you can check out that fine ass. The point being is that sometimes you must put aside what you feel like doing so that you can do the right thing.
It is easier said than done. I mean I can spout off endless phrases and motivational things, and it really wouldn't mean shit. What happens is that sometimes you just get to a point where whatever is happening in your life or situation just doesn't meet with your expectations and you have two options. You can either put up with shit the way they are or you can change it. I want to change who I am right now. Get my shit together. Get healthy. Go to school. Travel. I know that in a year I really don't want staying here in Connecticut to be the only option open to me because I am either afraid or incapable of change. I have missed too many opportunities because of that. I hope I have the will to continue. I'll get back to you on that.
On the lighter side, a shipment of parsley that was mistakenly delivered to a grocer, in New York I believe, when opened, it was filled with not just parsley but cocaine. From what I head on the radio it was like 6 pallets with a street value of 30 million dollars. That's a lot of parsley. I bet at first the guys who opened it were like, "What tha?" then they were all, "Holy shit!". I wonder I if they thought about keeping it. Bet they did, or at least a little bit of it. Then they thought, "You know, anyone who is shipping six pallets of coke will probably come looking for it if it disapperars. Let's call the cops". Course they probably did keep a bit for themselves. Just for recreational use. What the hell. When else in your life is that going to happen? This way the cops get the big bust and you get a little happy dust on the side. Win, win. Does this sound like I am pro-drug? Well, only if you have any and want to share. Hook me up! Laterzzz...
Went back and looked at this post as I edited it. I just want to say. Life is hard. Nothing is easy. I am not in a place in my life where it is how I want it. One day maybe. I am not close to perfect, or even very good most days. But you keep trying. What's the other option? Be miserable? I have been there for too long. I need to get things on track and try to fix my mistakes. That's all. Keep your head up. Peace.
Friday, January 20, 2006
What are you watching?
I haven't watched much football this year. With the fact that I have been working a lot of Sundays and that I don't have cable, I miss the games. That's ok though. I mean, I don't like to be a slave to anything like that. I like that right now I am not addicted to any TV shows. With the Internet I can find out about just about any show I want but it also gives me the opportunity to look at the shows with an unattached eye and gauge the absolute stupidity of shows. Here are some things that I have thought about:
I will not watch any show that is the hot show. If it is a show that everyone is talking about and can't miss, odds are it is a boring piece of crap and I am not just going to follow the herd.
I will not watch a show with a failed movie actress. Especially if she plays some kind of doctor or lawyer coming back to her hometown and has to deal with her family after a death or maybe they are just estranged.
I will not watch any reality show. I will especially not watch a reality show where people do stuff with a celebrity. Or as the case may be a psudo-celebrity. I do not care to see them dancing, losing, skating, cooking; I will not won't not Sam I am.
I won't watch anything on CBS, other than sports. If you are watching something on that network you are old. I don't care. That network has always been for old people who got nervous moving their dial up past ten and it still is.
Just because I have a penis (yeah I still do, little worried there) does not mean that I have to only watch sports. I don't have to be drawn to sports or Sportscenter or any other thing with the word sport in the title,like a moth to a flame. Watching endless replays of collage games and recaps and then people talking about sports. It's god awful and endless. I don't care. Revoke my membership in the guy club. I'll go hang out with the chicks. Speaking of which, when I do watch sports, I really have a hard time listening to women talk sports. And a female play by play announcer? Come on. That just isn't right. I know there are plenty of women who know a hell of a lot more about sports than I do. I am comfortable with that, but it just doesn't sound right them announcing men's sports. Female sports? Go ahead. There isn't anyone watching those anyway.
I do like cooking shows. This might relate to the one above as far as my guy memebersship but look at it this way, we all have to eat. I like the Iron Chef, Emeril, America's Test Kitchen. I like to see some of those shows where they cook the food and then when they are done, you look at the food and think, I wouldn't even know how to eat that. I do like the ones where they give you tips and you think, yeah, I could do that the next time that I cook.
I like watching stuff on Discovery, Learning, and other science stuff. I don't like seeing things about the end of the world. You get a scientist saying a plague could and will kill everything and he has that look in his eye like,"isn't that cool?" It like why don't you fuckers come up with ways to stop the fucking giant asteroid and stop trying to figure out if it wiped out all or most of the dinosaurs?
Wouldn't it be cool if the music video channels actually played music videos? I mean every year they have the music video awards. Showing a video might be a good idea.
I want more nudity on TV. Lots more. For no reason. And I don't want to pay extra. So there. It can be after 10pm. That's fine. Oh, yeah. Female nudity. Why can you show guy butt and chest but not female. Hardly fair. I say equal rights. Show some boobage.
Those little identifiers in the corner of the screen really are annoying. I don't care that there is so many channels and they want you to know what channel you are watching. They get annoying. And those scrolls on the bottom of the screen are mostly un-useful too. Maybe one day you will be about to pick and choose what is on your screen. That's what they say at least.
The only other thing when it comes to TV is that I have to have the remote control. I don't care. Call me a fucking pig but I will have the remote. And I will change the TV during commercials. And even if I miss the re-start of the program that is on while I am surfing, I don't care. I will have the power...muuhoohahahahaha(evil laugh,evil laugh). Yup, it's all about me. Happy television watching. Laterzzz...
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Friday the 13th
Today is Friday the 13th. Ooohh....spooky. And it's a full moon. Spookier. I guess if I was a serial killer I would be having a grand old time tonight. But when you are a serial killer when is it not time to have a grand old time? I mean you get to kill people. Who cares if it is usually women and kids?
You ever notice that? You never have a serial killer who kills people who can defend themselves. It is unfortunately always kids and women and if you notice they like to kill hookers. I guess when you are a human piece of crap you have to pick on people weaker than you to make yourself feel better. You never hear about a football player serial killer. No one is going around whacking defensive tackles. You never hear about a serial killer going to the 'hood' and killing some gangbangers do you? Nope. Always something weaker. That's why they start out killing animals. They torture house pets and such. Any cop or FBI profiler will tell you that if a kid hurts animals, I mean really hurts them ritually or does mutilates them, they have more of a chance of being a psycho. Most serial killers started out as messed up kids.
I think some kids are just wired wrong. People say there isn't anything such as a bad kid, I just don't know. I think sometimes a bad kid turns into a bad adult. Maybe I just have a low opinion of human nature? Or maybe some people are just hardwired wrong?
What gets me though is when someone calls these people crazy or sick. I think that that implies that you can't help yourself. If you can't help yourself how do you go to work and have a job and hide what you are doing? I think if someone snaps and goes on a shooting spree and does weird things maybe they tripped a circuit and could be sick. Like that guy at the Texas clock tower who was later found to have a brain tumor. But if you kill and then hide the bodies and go on doing that time and time again. You are a fucking loser criminal. And there really is only one fix. Execute your ass.
We don't need you on the planet. If you so under value other people or over value yourself where you think you can kill them at your whim, then you have given up your pass to ride on planet Earth, now get off. Don’t get me wrong, I am not for strict eye for an eye. If you kill a person in self defense, you are not a serial killer. Same with accidents. Sometimes shit happens. But if you kill someone willingly for no reason, or while you are committing a crime, I think you need to have life in prison. Or at least for so long where you are no longer a threat. If you kill more than one person, well you got to go. Bullet to the back of the brain. No muss, very little fuss.
---Side Note—I stopped writing last night. I was going to finish this when I got home but I didn’t. I was tired. So I am going to finish this rant today but post it under yesterday’s date. Ok? Fine.
It seems to me that is where the criminal justice system really fails. It deals ok with misdemeanors and robbery. It doesn’t handle non-violent drug offensives too well but I think that is more of a policy issue. The justice system doesn’t handle violent acts that well. I mean, really when you get down to it what punishment is ever really enough when someone kills a bunch of people? Life in prison, execution, hell, even torture or beatings won’t repay what the person has done. It won’t bring anyone back. That is why I am for the death penalty. At least then, the killer is dead and won’t be bothering anyone ever again.
I talked about killers but I also think rapists and child abusers need to be dealt with more harsh, also. Let’s face it, you abuse a kid in a brutal disgusting way like that, you are not going to be cured. There is no medication that will help you, no counseling that will help you see that errors of you way. If you are a sick fuck and molest kids, or cut on them, or whatever, you need to be terminated at the very least. If you really do want to be cured I say cut the spinal column at the base of the neck. A quadriplegic never raped anyone. At least I never heard of that. You would think something like that would have made the news?
If you really wanted to add some justice to the justice system, give the criminals to the family of the victim for a little while. Let them get some justice and justice will be done. I know if something happened to one of my loved ones, I don’t think I could stop until I got my hands of the person who did it; no matter what.
When you see those stories, like the time the mother shot and killed the guy in the courtroom who molested her son, it makes me feel good. I say that is justice. Some may say it is just revenge. Whatever. Call it what you will, right is right.
I think that sometimes as a people we have the idea that being civilized means totally passivity. I disagree. I think that civilization is the utilization of "power" or "violence" in a fashion that is not random and unorganized. If you commit a horribly uncivilized act and then the civilized society deems that said act was outside of the bounds of what a society can allow, you should be forced to leave the civilization that you turned your back on in the first place. That force can take the place of jail or in the worse case, death. If we had a safe place to exile these people to, another planet or something then, yes, that might be a option. We don't unfortunately and I do believe that making society carry the burden of caring for people that have turned their backs on us is just wrong. It gives the wrong message not that society is enlightened but that we are so stifled by bureaucracy that we cannot even resolve issues that make us sick on a gut level. People being murdered and kids being attacked is wrong. We all know this. The death penalty may not be right but then again, it may be.
At this point, I stopped writing and went home where I am going to post this. I am not going to continue on this topic right now. I will again later. I just need to write about some other stuff. Less heavy stuff. Or at least not this. Sorry. But my brain has stopped leaking for now. Laterzzz...
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Here come de Judge...
I could be a judge. Not just any judge but one on the Supreme Court. Now that would be sweet! A job that you can't be fired from and don't have to really be that competent to do. All you got to do is be like, "yup that's cool with the constitution, rock on" or "nope, you can't do that according to the constitution, you suck, now die." Plus, and here is the selling point for me, you can be totally nude under your robe. Come on that is awesome.
I could also judge stuff like bikini contests in my spare time. Or chili cookoffs. Rib cookoffs. Come on who would want Surpreme Court Judge Biff at there hella fine barbecue showdown? I think I would be fucking outstanding. I would get a cool license plate that said "Love Judge". And I could use phrases like, "I'll be the judge of that." Did I mention that I could be totally nude under my robe? Because getting to go to work and not having to put on pants is really a big plus. Oh, and come on. You can't tell me that a Supreme Court Judge isn't gonna get some tail. You show up at a club, talk to some hottie, she's like what do you do? I would be all Supreme Court baby, wanna touch my gavel? You would totally be able to hit that! That would so kick ass!
Why do I bring this up? I was watching some of the hearing on TV where members of Congress are asking that Judge Alito (gonna have to look that one up, ok it's right now) questions to see whether or not he can move to the bonus round where he gets to be on the Supreme court. From what I can figure out watching it, the members of Congress depending on if they are Democrats or Republicans ask him various questions in which case his job is to give a lengthy answer but not to actually say anything.
For example a Democrat will ask, "Given your conservative views are you going to take away a woman's God given right to have control over her body and impose your morality on her by overturning Roe V. Wade?" At which point he answer," Blah blah blah....yadda yadda....probably, maybe...yadda blah blah." Except for a much longer time.
Then the Republicans go, "Given that the President rocks, and you rock because the President rocks, if Roe v. Wade came up and you overturned it and we had to start killing all women, in Jesus's name, that might have a differing opinion but we blamed it on the war on Terror would it be ok to torture so-called American citizens as long as the President and Vice-President, who also rocks, said it was ok?"
And our candidate boy says, "Blah times 20, yahha times 40, sure why not, Hail Bush, blah." And so it goes.
"Biff," you say, "that is not exactly a fair and balanced commentary right there, dude." You are right. I do believe that what you do with your own damn body is no bodies business but your own. And until men start carrying kids they have less to say about it than the price of jellybeans. At least until they are asked to pay for it. Because let's face it. One way a women can get her hands around a man's throat is by having his kid. And let's be even more honest, there are women who look at that little baby not as a bundle of joy but as a freaking 18 year meal ticket. And for those women thinking that a baby is going to make a man stay with you and love you and be the man that you always dreamed of. You are just dumb.
So what's the moral of the story? Fella's get that DNA test before you let her put your name on the birth certificate and I look pretty good in a black robe. It's slimming. Laterzzz...
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Killing Time
I had a talk with my cousin Rick last night. We were both in the grill eating dinner. He mentioned that he and his roomate were thinking about moving; probably to Vegas. I think I surprised him a litte by telling him to go for it. I said to him what do you have to lose? You are single, no kids, not that great a job (he's a card dealer), you hate winter and the cold. I told him why not move? What are the downsides? You have to find a place to stay and a job. Well, so? You can find places to stay everywhere. Some might be shitty but so? You live in an apartment here and you will live in one there.
Then I told him what I think was the really the shocker. I said that if I had a car and the cash, but mostly just the car, I wouldn't be here either. I told him that I would be anywhere else but Connecticut. I am just saving up for some wheels. Admittedly its going slow but I can hope. I am tired of Connecticut. My sister is here but really not much else.
When he left I kind of felt that I may have seriously helped push him over the edge into deciding to go. Hell, I even said that if he decided he was going to go that I might go too. What the fuck. I can live in Vegas. It's a growing city. They must have jobs. Maybe I can get work bouncing in a strip club! It would be like Road House! And you know that is the best Patrick Swayze as a martial arts using bouncer who comes to a small town to clean up an out of control bar and runs afoul of the corrupt boss of the town movie ever made. Hands down.
Whoa!
Hey, not that low down! At least not yet. Let me get a drink into me and then we can talk. Laterzzz...
Kinda Upset
But I tell you, now I am reluctant to write anything. I mean what would happen if I came up with something cool? Or something Earth shattering? Then it disappears. It cold be horrible. What if I came up with like clean energy, faster then light travel, or something to make women forget every damn thing that you ever said or did wrong so that next time you have an argument they don't have to bring it up? Now that would truly be a lost to mankind.
Yes, I did say mankind. Oh, what you going to give me crap about humanity this and that? Come on, I love women. They are pretty fricking awesome if you ask me. But they do have problems. Like for instance, not enough of them want to take long hot showers with me. That is a hell of an issue. But I digress....
I am going to print out this entry. This way if I lose it I can't type it in by hand. Well, I type everything by hand but you get my point. Usually I just cut and paste from an email into the blogger interface. That is if the damn thing shows up! I also guess I have to try to recreate yesterday's post. I can cover the topics but will I get the flavor? Doubtful. Not that it matters. I can always splatter a little more of my brain post another post. I got skills. Laterzzz...
