Monday, April 30, 2012
Which Doktor?
There is a lack of witch doctors out there. Shaman, medicine men, faith healers, call them what you will. We need more people who will role the bones and look at some animal guts and then give you something to make you feel better. Maybe they can help you cast a spell to remove that weird smell coming out of you?
I don’t mean wiccans. I mean the guy or woman who live in a village off in the woods casting spells. They always have to have something cooking in a big pot. And things in jars. You can’t be a witch doctor without things in jars that may or may not still be alive.
Why am I yearning for the magicmen? I think I am tired of doctors. Tired of people who barely treat you and proscribe a pill. The nurse takes a blood pressure, they look at your answers to a questionnaire, have you breathe in and breath out and then tell you to get a new pill. It feels like a scam.
Basically the doctors just tell you what you already know. Lose weight if you are fat. Eat better. Exercise. Stop smoking. Take this pill. You need a pill to lower cholesterol, blood pressure, or blood sugar. Modern medicine is the fifty minute wait and the five minute appointment.
Never with a which doctor. Which? Witch! Voodoo daddy! Even if the cup of the liquid they give you to drink does nothing the theater is there as it bubbles and squelches and tastes horrible. The shaman himself- the bones, the makeup, the dancing--when was the last time a proctologist danced for you?
I don’t know if a dancing proctologist would be a good thing. Definitely not during the exam. Afterward? Might be awkward yet accompanied by a good meal? Seriously, you’ve already put out, how much worse could it be?
I don’t think witch doctors actually healed much. I could be wrong. I assume we heal more nowadays. We do give out more pills. We are told to chew leaves less often. I guess it’s hard for the pharmacy to stock leaves. Laterzzz...
Labels: doctor, health, medicine, pills, witch doctor
// posted by Biff Manly @ 2:19 PM 
