Brain Splatter

I get in the car and my head rubs the ceiling. When I close the car door some kind of molded plastic pocket on the door presses into my leg. I feel like the proverbial ten pounds of shit in the five pound bag. And the seat is some misshapened uncomfortable thing that I think was used to torture prisoners in Iraq.

So once I squeeze my ass into the car and we go where we are going to go, I have to get out of the car. As I get out I smack my head on the door frame. So when I do extricate myself I feel like I have been beaten up. My back is still a bit sore today from sitting on that seat.

I don't know how someone taller than me could fit in the damn car. It just doesn't make any sense. Does small car really have to be so small? I hate to think what happens to people when they get in an accident in such a tight space. The only thing I can think of is they design the car so that they can bury the people and the car together in one small package.

You know, then again it could just be that my fat ass and that car are just like oil and water and just don't mix? Is that possible? Like I had a pair of boots once that I put on and the first step just killed my feet. I wore them for like 10 minutes and that was plenty. I don't know if the design was just wrong or what but my feet hated those boots. I took them back the next day. Sometimes things just don't go together. Laterzzz...

Oh just gonna add a cool Arrested Development gif here for no reason what so ever. Laterzzz2.

Labels: Arrested Development, car, fat, rental

// posted by Biff Manly @ 9:47 PM