Brain Splatter

I told myself I would be doing some writing today. I just don't have any idea what I want to write about. I don't just mean this here entry in Splatter. I mean that I want to write a story but I have been feeling somewhat lacking in that department lately.

I haven't watched the news yet today so I am not quite sure what to be angry about yet. The news makes me angry. Because you see the stupidity of people, the heartlessness, and the cruelty. I don't like that kind of stuff unless I am the one being stupid, heartless, and cruel. Then everything is A-okay. Hell, given the right circumstances a little cruelty could be a good thing.

"That's what she said."

So, what do I want to eat for dinner tonight? Well, pussy comes to mind but I was looking in the pantry and I guess I am out. I need to hang a list on the fridge that next time that I go shopping I have to pick some of that up.

If you could have pussy delivered to the the house, that would end the energy crisis. Most of the mail population would never leave the house. You would just keep ordering in like Chinese food. No cars would ever get driven except by the delivery drivers who would either have to be women or gay. So then there would be plenty of oil. Of course there would be no one to do the drilling because like I said, all the guys would be at home, eyeballs deep in poon.

That is because us men are pigs. We want to eat, shit, fuck, and then lay in a comfortable spot while taking a nap and then starting all over again. You have to remember that. I do. I am comfortable with my with my male side. I don't let it dominate me...

...up to 15% of the time!

Random shit on my mind--I am getting tired of this set up for my page. I got to see about changing the layout. It's not that hard, I just need to invest the time and find the inclination to do it. I like a nice straightforward design. I don't like all kinds a gizmos and fucking widgets.

Which brings me to something else. When you put one of those fucking music things on your page--you know the ones I mean that turn on all loud--make fucking sure that it is one that can be turned off! Nothing will make me click away from a page faster than having to fucking listen to some shitty fucking song that I can't even turn off.

They say when you leave things plugged in but turned off, they are still using electricity and that you should should totally unplug appliances and shit that you are not using. Huh? Wait. If something has an off button, shouldn't that like turn it off? Off means no power, not working, dead. I can see if it's something with a clock or something like that but if I leave my radio plugged in and it's off, it shouldn't be sucking up the juice. Least that is what I think. Wait. Shit. My radio has a clock in it. Dammit. Nevermind.

I just heard two stories today about Christmas. One was how retailers are starting to prepare for Christmas now, in July, with 146 days left to go. The other was about how because of the economy the price of everything this Christmas is going to go up. Which means that retailers will be trying harder to get between me and my money.(Assuming I had any.)So don't be surprised if the decorations start going up a little early this year. So this year you can buy your Halloween costume and X-mas decorations at the same time. Which would actually save you a trip later in the year and therefore save money. Wow, it's almost like they are doing us a public service!

I think I am going to make some brownies. Laterzzz...

"He's got the whole world in his hands..."

What if he drops it?

Just sayin'.

Laterzzz...

I want to do heroin.

Not just snorting it or smoking it. I want to spike. I want to do some intravenous heroin. I want to fill up a needle with some primo shite and just get fucked up out of my mind. Just like in Trainspotting.

Why?

Well, the reason why would be if I had a terminal disease. If I had something really bad that was gonna fuck me up I would do every fucking drug I could get my hands on. I would do crack, meth, shrooms. Hell, I wouldn't just have pot brownies, every fucking thing I put in my mouth would be laced with sweet chronic. I would have so many drugs in my system that when I did you would be able to smoke my ashes and be fucked up for a week. That would be a hell of a funeral.

Holy fucking shit! I am watching the news and the are showing a story about the FEMA trailers.

You know these fucking things? They are the trailers that they have put the hurricane Katrina victims in. Well, it turns out the trailers are made with particle board and that is made with formaldehyde, which also happens to be toxic and is making people living in these trailers sick. So congress is holding hearings saying that the companies that built the trailers knew they were toxic. The companies' response? FEMA never gave us standards for air quality in the trailers.

What?!

Wait. OK. Let me get this straight. You make trailers for people to live in. And yet you make them with materials that make people living in them sick? Then you say that no one said, "Don't do that."

No. That is it. That is just fucking stupid. I don't care who you are but that is a lame fucking excuse. The truth is--you fucking trailer building cocks--is that you got the cheapest fucking material you could find to make these things with because you were selling these trailers to the government and you didn't give a shit if the people got sick at long as you were making your fucking bag of silver.

See this is the kind of thing that pisses me off because the fucking government is going to do nothing to these people. Which means the only recourse will be lawsuits. Which means you will have a bunch of bottom feeding fucking lawyers coming in like ticks on a dog's ass trying to get their cut of the money. I hate fucking lawyers. But really what else is there?

These fuckers who made the trailers need to go to jail or be forced to live in their own trailers for a year. But you know that ain't gonna happen. So you are left with the lawyers and the lawsuits. It just doesn't seem right. It shouldn't have to be this way. While the people who suffered through Katrina are still suffering, the assholes at the top play their blame game and in the end, no matter who supposedly "wins" or "loses" the people at the top will make money and the lawyers will make money and the people at the bottom will take it up the ass.

I think it is time once again to watch everyones favorite gameshow, "Let's start a Revolution!"

First off, I say all the people living in these FEMA trailers should go, kill the businessmen and let's say 50% of the fucking lawyers in this country and move into their houses. That would be a good place to start.

Then you have to take care of all the insurance people who are being shady saying shit like, "Well, I know your house was ripped up by Katrina and you have hurricane insurance but see what really happened is that your house got washed away when a levee broke, and that is flooding, not the hurricane. So we ain't gonna pay you."

Kill them. There are other people to kill too, but I am not going to go off in this rant about that. Today is enough to kill 50% of lawyers and most of the insurance industry. I say most because just like I guess you need some lawyers you do need some insurance. The problems start to come when you mix them together. It's like drinking Jager, tequila, whiskey, and beer while there is an all you can eat Mexican buffet specializing in spicy food. Things may start out OK but you know at some point things are going to take a turn for the worse. Like they always do. So it goes...Laterzzz...