Brain Splatter

The Vast Bering Sea, uh, it's like big. Really big. And mean. Like a Pit Bull that sat on a cactus mean. Like me without Diet Pepsi mean. Like Erin driving in rush hour traffic with a bunch of Asians and Mexicans mean.

This is the story of Alaskan Crab fisherman; not to be confused with Alaskan Fisherman with Crabs. That, as they say is a different show.

The show is the Deadliest Catch, and I must say, I am addicted to it. I don't know why. I think it is because you have a show with regular people doing a job that they love. And they are probably half nuts. Which is always fun to watch.

Look at it, these guys are going out in approximately hundred foot boats into the middle of some of the worst weather known to man to catch sea bugs. Yeah, I think the money has a lot to do with it, you work for a little bit of time and make good cash for the rest of the year. I also think that sometimes if you stare into the abyss, it calls to you. And if you can face danger/death and walk away, everything else is sweeter. At least that is the theory.

Also, when I say addicted I mean it like I like to watch the show and would like to see all the episodes, not like I want to chuck it all and go fish for crab. I am also not some obsessed freak like some of the people I have seen on the net. My God people, just because you like a fucking show does not mean you have to get all obsessed over these peoples lives. It's a fucking TV program, not a personalized message of love to you. I swear, you do a Google search and just browse a couple blogs and you see that there are people who have way too much time on there hands. I don't care if the episode was edited in such a way as to make the drama more. I don't care if the money they talk about is before taxes and fees and expenses. I don't care about the fisherman's personal lives outside the show and if they are really like they are on TV or just "acting". I DON'T FUCKING CARE!

I watch shows to be entertained. Period. If the story is good, if I don't feel like I am wasting my time, if it don't cost me anything; I am all good in the hood.

Could I do the job. Probably not. Would I want to? I don't know. I must be honest, when I see the sea on those shows, something does call to me. Maybe it is living near the ocean but I must say there is a part of me that longs for the water. I think it would be great to have a boat an be able to hit the water. The times that I have been on the water I loved it. I know enough to know what I don't know however. I know I would need cash. I would need training. I would need cash. After all, a boat is just a hole in the water that you throw money into. And I don't want a little dingy. If I was going to get a boat, I would love to get something big enough that I could sleep on. Not a yacht, just something with a cabin. Oh, and no sailboats. I want something with a motor.

While learning to sail it might be cool I would rather have the other kind. Hell, it's my fantasy! If I don't want a sailboat--I won't have a fucking sailboat! Get your own damn boat! I hope you fall overboard and get eaten by a shark! OK, I don't want anyone to get eaten by a shark. I like sharks. It's people I have trouble with.

Once again there is flooding in the Midwest. Once again politicians are walking around, looking at the damage, pointing at the damage, getting their pictures taken in front of the damage. John McCain was there. Bush was there. I am sure Obama was there but I didn't see him on the news. Hold on, lemme look and see if he was there...no, it doesn't look like he was there today. He supports the people there, according to his website (I don't link--look it up your damn self), but today he was not in the Midwest. Unless he was being sneaky about it? Hmmm...

Supposedly there are going to be 7 billion people on the planet by the year 2012. We supposedly crossed the 6 billion mark in 1999. So in 12 years the population will have gone up by a billion people. All I have to say about that is that SOMEONE is doing a lot of fucking! And it damn well ain't me. I mean, shit, don't we have computers and TV? What the hell is with all the sex? Does no one have anything else to do? Women on this fucking planet need to start keeping their damn legs closed! Why is it whenever you see stories about famines and shit they always have a ton of kids? Maybe if you got off your fucking back and went out and got a job you would have some food on the table? But one the bright side, maybe global warming and climate change will thin the heard a bit?

Or is that just me being an asshole? I wouldn't doubt that one bit. I do not have a problem admitting my level of assholitude is great. Hell I revel in it. Or maybe I am not an asshole. Maybe by thinking that I am an asshole makes me not an asshole but a douche? I would rather be an asshole than a douche but maybe even thinking that I would rather be an asshole makes me a douche? God what a stupid spiral of thought.

Pause

Shit, my system just crashed. WTF? I guess it isn't too bad. It came back up. It is probably because I installed some new shit on here and removed some other shit and the other shit was Norton and Norton doesn't like to die. A lot of these companies do anything to keep their software on your computer. Even if it makes your computer run shitty, they don't care they want you to have their programs and pay, pay, pay, right through the nose! Fucking companies. Fucking computers.

Why the hell can't they make a damn computer that just works without all the bullshit? Huh? Fucking Skynet is going to go online and launch nuclear missiles and then enslave humanity and then the Matrix is going to plug us all in for batteries? Bullshit! I say that it won't work. It will fuck up and then with no humans around to press the reset button it will all come to a screeching halt.

Just like this entry...Laterzzz...

By the way....Don't do Meth when you are pregnant!

Laterzzz...ptII