Brain Splatter

This guy comes into the office at work. He is with another guy and we are all bullshitting. Hell, at my fucking job the only thing that sometimes makes the day fucking passable is the fact that I get to bullshit with people during the day. So this one guy says something to the effect of, (and I can't remember how the fuck we got to that part of the conversation), "you every wish you could kill people for a day."

What?

What the fuck did I just hear?

Now I know the context that the dude was talking about. And I said something in like, "I don't think this is the time or place for this kind of conversation." But like in a joking casual way. And we laughed and it wasn't no big thing really.

But then you think about what he said. Shit, is this like a warning sign? Is this fucker gonna go loony fucking toons? Are we cool enough that if he goes fucking nuts that if my fat ass ends up in the gunsight he decides that we are cool and shoots the punk-ass bitch supervisor instead?

Then on the other side of the coin, of course I have thought about going on a killing spree. Who the fuck hasn't? Hell, I have grown up in America where I am inundated with violent imagery and I do have a kick ass imagination. I have played video games and seen movies. Hell, I write stories, (not very good ones but whatever).

I wouldn't ever go on a killing spree though. At least not unless I had inoperable cancer or something. Even then I would probably just take a shit load of heroin and coke and all the really good drugs that are out there. I am just not feeling the whole going out in a blaze of glory thing or riding the lightning in the electric chair. You may call me a pussy if you want.

So I think this guy was just fucking around and like I said I can't remember the context of the conversation but whatever, I needed something to write about.

Laterzzz...

Labels: killing, psycho, spree, warning, work

// posted by Biff Manly @ 10:56 PM 0 comments

I have been watching TV shows online. There are various places and maybe at another time I will talk about what places those are. Right now I am going to mention the shows that I have been watching that have not brought the suck. And considering that most things on the boob tube make you feel dumber after watching, make you wish you could have the time back, and actually have no boobs in it (the biggest crime of them all). I have found a few things worth watching.

My Name is Earl. I resisted watching this show at first. Not because I had anything against it, I just don't like to watch new shows. New shows have a way of sucking or being way cool and then they go away. Also, after having Netflix, I don't like waiting for a show every week. I like to see everything on my time, not waiting for a network to serve it up to me.

Anyway, My Name is Earl, about a guy who was a scumbag, wins the lottery, and decides to change his ways because of Karma. I am cutting out a lot of stuff here but you should really check this show out. It is very funny and sarcastic and the supporting cast is very good. This is definitely one of those shows that you can watch over and over. At least in my opinion. And if you are reading this you must be a little interested in my opinion, or bored out of your fucking mind.

Good Eats. Yes, it is a cooking show. Yes, you can learn stuff. Yes, I said it is a fucking cooking show. Just watch it, it's not your standard cooking show. I like it. If you don't, I don't care.

Terminator-The Sara Connor Chronicles. It is like a spin off of the movies. So I thought it would bring the suck. It didn't. I can't say it is a great show. It is watchable. I guess it matters what direction that they take the show in. It also matter whether they even bring the show back for another season. I think it was one of those series that made it to TV because of the writer's strike. If it comes back I will watch it, if it doesn't I don't think I would miss it.

American Gladiators. What can I say. I liked this show before and I like it now. There are two problems-- the show should have more violence. I want to see the contestants get fucked up. I also think that if a Gladiator doesn't perform well, he should be executed. Hey, if you call yourself a Gladiator you need to be ready for the thumbs down from Caesar. The second thing is the guy who does the play by play. Random voice guy needs to be dismembered and nailed to the Wall as a warming to all future announcers that you will be held accountable for your sucking.

Well that is it for me tonight. I talked about TV. I named some shows I recently watched. Maybe I will find something else good to watch. But no reality shows. God no. Fuck no. I am going to bed. Laterzzz...

Oh, and watch the news. And read it. And not just from one source. Think about who is saying what, and what is their reason for saying it. Make up your own damn mind. Laterzzz part 2...

Labels: good, Good Eats, My Name is Earl, suck, Terminator, TV

// posted by Biff Manly @ 11:21 PM 0 comments

Not the power to rule the world or to cloud men's minds. I still have those. No, I lost electric power. There were storms yesterday and I can only assume that the wind and the rain and water must have knocked down a power line or something. Maybe someone driving had a accident. If they did I hope they are okay.

Back to me, I lost power. It was in the middle of the night and I had fallen asleep watching a show. I woke up, kind of disoriented as per usual, and tried to turn my radio on. I need noise at night to sleep. The radio wouldn't turn on. Then I realized that it was kind of dark in here. Suddenly it occurs to me that it is way quiet in my house also. Slowly the it occurs to me that the power must have gone out.

Oh, well it is night time and I have a flashlight and another radio that runs on batteries. Plus, you know it is the middle of the freaking night and I should be sleeping. It was a little rough at first and the radio I had kind of died sometime in there but eventually the power came on and everything was OK.

It got me to thinking, as I unfortunately tend to do, what if the power didn't come back on? What if it was going to be off for days or weeks? What if the power never came on again? There was a little bit of a time there where panic could set in.

I mean, we--fuck we, I have become use to having electricity. I have lived with electricity my whole life. Can I even live without it? Can anyone. Are we beyond a point as a society where we can even function without? There I fucking go again. I don't really give a shit about society right now. I care more about myself.

I don't want to live without power. I like walking into a room and turning on the light. I like heat. I like clean water coming out of the tap. I don't know that I would like to live another way. And even if I did live in a place where I could live another way. You know, having a generator and living in a place where I could grow food and hunt or fish (even though I am not that big on eating anything but tuna fish out of a can with the Helmann's Mayo) I am not in the place right now. Neither by location, training, or cash wise.

I think I been watching too much Terminator: The Sara Connor Chronicles. You start watching that show and you start thinking about getting a gun and moving into the woods to wait for the machines to take over. Which the Japanese seem all too willing to help along. That is a rant for another day.

Which brings me to my solution. I think I need to get an emergency kit. Hook it up with batteries, flashlights, foodstuffs, and such. All them goodies. At least then, I have something to put my false hopes on. Right now I have no hopes but with a little preparedness I can delude myself into a false sense of security. You know, kind of like all those people who buy guns and then think that just by having a gun you are safe without ever actually having handled the gun or learning how to shoot well.

Not that I am against guns, hell, not at all. I just think that if you are going to buy a gun, something so important, you should know how to shoot it. After all, what does the bumper sticker say, "Gun control is hitting what you are aiming at." I would get a gun myself but right now I just don't have the time. Living here in New England to legally get a gun, to exercise my Constitutional right (some would say responsibility) to bear arms, I have to jump through hoops. I am not just talking about the waiting period here. But again, I think this is a rant for another day. Besides a gun is a tool and if you don't know how to use a tool you are neither prepared to use it or safe to use it.

Man. Now I am depressed. I just wanted to talk about the power going out. I don't want to be all boring here. I want comedy, son. I want action, adventure, laughter, tears, giggles, gaffaws, thinking, loving, laughing, and all the other good shit. I guess I will have to think about not thinking. That is my problem. I think to much. Maybe I care too much?

Excuse me. I just damn near choked to death laughing. I don't know if I care or not. Or what I care about. Sometimes I write something and I may firmly believe what I just said. Other times, well, not so much. what does that make me? I don't know? I know that I just want to be semi-entertaining and to maybe make someone think. Mostly, when I write I just let the words flow, and if something good comes out that is great. If, as I suspect, I am mostly shouting nonsense into an empty room, well, so it goes. I am just happy to get the shit out of my head because there it does no one any good. Especially me.

And in the end, it is all about me. It is about what I am thinking at the time when I write. And to be honest, I don't even know that I am thinking about what I am writing. Most times I just pick an idea and let the info flow with no idea what I want to say. Or I might have a couple ideas about what I want to get out and as long as those get out into the text then I am a happy boy. Not as happy as if three clones of Carmen Electra were simultaneously tonguing my balls, penis, and asshole, but close. Okay, wait. Not really even close because, let's be honest here, that Carmen Electra thing would be totally awesome. Laterzzz..