Thursday, August 10, 2006
Be Prepared
That is just if the power went out. My twisted mind now starts thinking about what if there is a hurricane? I don't have an emergency pack. I have no water put aside. I don't have shit. Fucking Katrina #2 or the fucking perfect storm is going to come and I am so screwed. I don't have a shotgun, as I have written before, so looting is out of the fucking picture. I need to be prepared.
I started looking at websites for emergency packs and all I can say is damn! Those things are expensive. Who would have thought that being prepared would break the damn bank? For example, check out this bag here:
click bitch! (Now I like the set-up and all but I am just not going to pay five hundred to a thousand dollars for a damn safety pack. I know if it came down to the pack or surviving I would be more than will to pay for it but right now? No way.I think that might be part of the problem with America. No one wants to squirrel away the nuts, save for a rainy day, save a stich to save nine, or invest in a ounce of cure for a pound of prevention. (OK, come on, that was a pretty awesome bunch of related cliches that I just strung together wasn't it?) I am no different. Except, I just don't have the cash. I think that I am going to have to start to buy a little at a time and then just hope that a big ass storm doesn't come running up the east coast and fuck everything up before I get my shit together. Or have I just cursed myself by even thinking about it? Fuck. Uh, knock on wood and fingers crossed and all that shit. Oh, I am so doomed. Fuck!
It'll probably just ending up being another in a long list of things that I put aside for another day. Damn procrastination! I am not going to procrastinate anymore! I am going to change! I am going to be all pro-active and go-getting and shit! But not tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
Pause
I got in a disagreement with a person I will call Wrongy Wrongerson,(the name has been changed to protect the wrong). See, Wrongy had a wrap for lunch today, and I inquired as to whether she had put spicy brown mustard on the the wrap. Wrongy informed me that no, she had not, that she had regular mustard. I was aghast. How could you do such a thing, I inquired? Maybe you should bring some
Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard to work with you? Wrongy said no, that regular mustard was good enough. Oh...my....Gawd! What did you say! I couldn't believe it. I was stunned, rocked even. How in the hell can you compare the delicious taste of Spicy Brown Mustard to regular mustard? One is delicious and goes on many foods making then taste much better and the other is like yellow paste. OK, regular French's mustard is semi-serviceable under the right combination, especially in a whoop-ass tag team with ketchup. But in a one on one falls count anywhere title match for mustard dominance it is all about the spicy brown, hands down.Wrongy didn't agree. Or at least she said that she didn't. Well, it was more of an exasperated whatever kind of a thing. So in that case I won. Hey, I have to stand up for what I believe in considering that I don't believe in all that much. Anyone can have an opinion on peace in the middle east or the price of gas. I deal in condiments, baby. Don't even get me started on
Mayonnaise.I am thirsty. I want some soda. I am going to go get me some Diet Pepsi. Shit. I seem to have a lot of the product placement in this rant. I wish this was like a talk show where someone from the company would read it and then send me some of the things that I wrote about. Or like Nascar. I could wear patches on my underwear of the products I use. UPS would be in the back. The funniest scene in a movie about product placement was in Wayne's World where they are talking about how they won't be shills and such while they are wearing Reeboks and drinking Pepsi and I think it was Domino's pizza but it might have been Pizza Hut. Supposedly, the new movie with Will Farrell has some funny stuff about products because it is about Nascar. And we all know that race car drivers are whores for their advertisers. Not to say that is a bad thing. I would be a whore for you too if you wanted to give me a million dollars to drive around with your logo on my car. Shit, I would even shill stuff like Tampax and KY Jelly. Preparation H would be my friend, well, even more my friend.
Oh. I did go to the doctor today. I got a few happy pills but not the ones I want. I go back in a couple weeks to see if these work or not. Then I have to see about my migraines. God, I sound like some kind of weak and whiny bitch. But then you pretty much new that. I will write some more for tomorrow. Maybe about the terrorist thing that happened in England and why you can't bring a fucking bottle of Pepsi onto your seven hour flight across the Atlantic. Fucking ridickulous! (I know I spelled it wrong but this way it has the word "dick" in it...hehe!) Laterzzz...
