Brain Splatter

I don't have to work tomorrow. I am going to spend the day at home watching porn and eating Oreos and fondling myself over and over. I figure you got to make a plan. Ok, so I was kidding, I won't be eating Oreos.

Tomorrow is my day off though. I am going to try to clean my dirty house and do laundry and all the stuff I always say that I am going to do. I probably won't but what the hell, might as well say that I will. Isn't it funny how we do that to ourselves. Weather it be diets or cleaning or execising or eating right or any other kind of foolish thing. It's fun to delude ourselves isn't it? That's why I promise myself to jerk off. I know I will keep that promise. Unless I am tired. Or injured. Fucking doctor won't give you a cortisone shot to work through a masturbation injury. Fuckers.

Speaking of which, where the hell can I find on of those cool doctors that just writes you prescriptions for shit even if you don't need it? I want some good drugs just for the hell of it. Why not? I got the insurance, might as well get the most out of it. How about a little Oxycotin for a pleasant weekend? Some Percocets would make the work week fly by. Maybe I might not be able to do my job to the best of my ability but let's be honest, I barely give 50% when I am there anyway. Hey that is more than I used to give, but I did get a raise and promotion recently so I guess I have to up it 5%. Yeah, I am all responsible and shit!

Sorry, I was laughing. I may get paid more than I did but I don't believe I yet get paid enough to give 100%...but eh...not much is asked of me at work. I have limited stress and I can basically cruise through the day. So I think I am good for a bit. Why would anyone want a job, especially one that don't pay that well that would be all stressful? Beats me. Hell, beat me off!

Dammit, do I have a masturbation theme going here today? And if I do what is wrong with that?

There were news items I was going to talk about. But I don't really feel that right now. I have a big case of the, so whats? Politics, so what? The environment, so what? Storms, the stock market, this that and the other, so what? I just want to go to the store tomorrow. Buy some cold soda. Maybe some sandwich stuff. Then come home and maybe take a nap. I am not going to stress. I am going to relax. Stress kills. So it goes...Laterzzz...