Brain Splatter

I am sure there are scholars out there who study how holidays occur and what the original manifestations were behind them. I am sure that they could tell us why the Easter Bunny became a focus of a tradition but I don’t care what they would say. If you want to read their opinions go read their blogs.

This is my theory: when Jesus H. Christ came out of the tomb after being crucified, scourged, stabbed and generally made to feel really, really bad, I bet he wanted a snack. He was probably quite hungry. (That is what the H stands for in Jesus H. Christ…hungry). And being his last meal was at Passover I bet he was craving some junk food, probably something sweet. Now they didn’t have chocolate back then but I am sure the newly arisen Savior would have found something tasty, which I am sure he had to search for. And it was in the morning so I am sure a nice boiled egg would have done him just right to go along with his sweets. And so, a tradition is born.

OK, enough with the blasphemy, or is that sacrilege? I get the two confused. Anyway the tradition that I miss from when I was a kid is that we would eat kielbasa at Easter. It was these big Polish kielbasa that were so good. My dad would get a bunch of them from the butcher and you could eat them right out of the fridge but the best way was to boil them and eat them with hard boiled eggs. I think the butcher that my dad got them from is closed now. He either retired or passed away or both. It was from Soltz meat market. I think they also had a kosher butcher shop too. So I can't get kielbasa from there, but I was reading an article about a place not that far from here where they sell them. According to the article, the shop sells out of the kielbasa for the weeks leading up to Easter. Maybe next year, if I am still in CT I will have to take a trip there. Is it wrong to be wistful about a Polish sausage? If so I don't care. It represents some of the best times that I ever had with my family. Food can do that, it not only nourishes the body but it can be a signpost that leads to connections of memory. Maybe that is why sometimes it is so easy to find solace in food? Or at least to try?

Speaking of finding solace, I bought some beer yesterday and wouldn't you know it, I forgot to put it in the fucking refrigerator. Oh well, guess I am just gonna have to drink the scotch that I have instead. Sometimes you just have to make sacrifices. I did get the good beer though. I got some Killian's Irish Red. Very good. I was going to get some Coors light but they didn't have bottles. I don't drink much but when I do I like to drink it out of a bottle. I think it tastes better and I think it is just classier. Yes, I said drinking beer out of a bottle is classier than out of a can...you got a problem with that? I don't know if cans do or don't impart a different taste but if there is no difference then why the choice? Why do sometimes bottles cost more? I really don't know the reason for the bottles I just know I like what I like. I was going to get some Mike's Hard Lemonade which is totally great but it was too expensive. I will not pay $15.99 for a fucking 12 pack. Maybe for a 12 pack of hot sexy strippers but not for alcohol. I got standards. And if there are any hot sexy strippers out there who are into somewhat witty, semi-meglomaniacal , but basically okay guys with a dark side, uh...well, leave me a comment.

Actually, you don't have to be a stripper to leave me a comment. If you read my rant and would like to suggest something like a topic or that I should go straight to hell them please let me know. Am I begging? Well maybe a little. I crave the attention and the accolades. And if you believe that you have not been reading because I don't really care one way or another. I write because I like to. If you read for the same reason, then, Thank you. If you don't read this then I don't really care because you obviously have no taste. Unlike my balls...which you can lick. Non-rant reading motherfuckers...piss me off....Laterzzz...

// posted by Biff Manly @ 3:11 AM