Saturday, January 28, 2006
Positive Attitude
So what makes me think that I am losing my mind? I am feeling good that is what. I get nervous when I feel good because I know that feeling bad is just around the corner. That makes a lot of sense doesn't it? God, I got to get out of that mindset.
I have been trying to keep a positive outlook going. I been trying to do the things that I am supposed to do. You know, eat right, clean the house, and get up for work at a decent time instead of running for the door like a fucking madman. It is about listening to that voice inside your head that tells you to do the right thing. For example, you meet a girl with a tasty rack(fine hooters, nice yabbos, you pick), and a low cut top; your impulse being an all-American male is too stare, drool, and maybe wolf whistle. But the voice in your head says, "No!" That would not be right. Have to look her in the eyes!" So you do. Then when she walks away you can check out that fine ass. The point being is that sometimes you must put aside what you feel like doing so that you can do the right thing.
It is easier said than done. I mean I can spout off endless phrases and motivational things, and it really wouldn't mean shit. What happens is that sometimes you just get to a point where whatever is happening in your life or situation just doesn't meet with your expectations and you have two options. You can either put up with shit the way they are or you can change it. I want to change who I am right now. Get my shit together. Get healthy. Go to school. Travel. I know that in a year I really don't want staying here in Connecticut to be the only option open to me because I am either afraid or incapable of change. I have missed too many opportunities because of that. I hope I have the will to continue. I'll get back to you on that.
On the lighter side, a shipment of parsley that was mistakenly delivered to a grocer, in New York I believe, when opened, it was filled with not just parsley but cocaine. From what I head on the radio it was like 6 pallets with a street value of 30 million dollars. That's a lot of parsley. I bet at first the guys who opened it were like, "What tha?" then they were all, "Holy shit!". I wonder I if they thought about keeping it. Bet they did, or at least a little bit of it. Then they thought, "You know, anyone who is shipping six pallets of coke will probably come looking for it if it disapperars. Let's call the cops". Course they probably did keep a bit for themselves. Just for recreational use. What the hell. When else in your life is that going to happen? This way the cops get the big bust and you get a little happy dust on the side. Win, win. Does this sound like I am pro-drug? Well, only if you have any and want to share. Hook me up! Laterzzz...
Went back and looked at this post as I edited it. I just want to say. Life is hard. Nothing is easy. I am not in a place in my life where it is how I want it. One day maybe. I am not close to perfect, or even very good most days. But you keep trying. What's the other option? Be miserable? I have been there for too long. I need to get things on track and try to fix my mistakes. That's all. Keep your head up. Peace.
