Brain Splatter

Yup, that time of year. The holiday season is rolling in and I say, "Fuck yeah!" I like Christmas. Of all the holidays it is the best. Hands down. All the other religions are jealous of Christmas. Really. I mean why else would you put your holidays all near our holiday? Jealousy! I mean they could have put Kwanza in March so what's the deal?

Christmas got all the good stuff. We got the good food, the good lights, the cool decorations, mistletoe, and the awesome specials on TV with music. The funny part is a lot of good Christmas movie was written by Jewish guys. But I digress.

You know, I have never been under mistletoe with a random stranger. That sucks. I wouldn't mind the occasional Christmas random liplock. Or semi-random. Hell, I could think of a few girls at work I wouldn't mind playing holiday tonsil hockey with. Not at all. But then you got others where I would have to run like a mother. With all the sexual harrassment stuff I guess the days of the mistletoe are numbered. That and the wild office Christmas party. I have never been to one of those. The places I worked had seriously lame parties. One place (rhymes with al-mart) you couldn't have music playing. You believe that happy crap. Oh, and no alcohol. I think it had to do with the owners being Southern Baptist. They don't know how to party.

Speaking of party, I put up a nice Christmas tree pic. Rockefeller Center in New York City is where this tree is from. You always see the pics of it on TV at this time of year. Shows film near it. They have those lame-ass specials where you have really lame popstars doing some really bad lip-syncing near the tree. The king of bad fake singing though has to be the Thanksgiving day parade. I like the parade mostly for the big balloons and the hope that one of the Radio City Rockettes will do high kicks after having forgotten panties, but aside from that watching the really bad lip-syncing is fun too. Especially when they have some person there who damn near has, "my record company is making me do this shit" tattooed on their foreheads. Plus once Santa goes by it signals the countdown to the most cherish holiday tradition. Black Friday.

Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving where shoppers, who are coming out of their turkey coma, stampede the malls and shopping complexes looking for deals on merchandise. Most of which is made in China. They get up early, and in a frenzy that can only be compared to sharks feeding, storm stores wanting to pick up the sales that most stores have purposly put up like raw meat to lure them in. The fun part is the inevitable stories of people being trampled or beaten by their fellow shoppers when one feels that they have been slighted in their quest to purchase goods. It happens every year, some story of some mother going off because she needs to get the special limited edition Doofus doll and the store only has like five. So violence is defineatly an option because on Christmas morning you don't want to hear your damn whiny kid's mouth if, God forbid, they don't get the latest toy in their giant pile of swag.

If that isn't the true meaning of X-mas I don't know what is. Laterzzz...