Brain Splatter

I think it is Monday. It is my Friday. I got the next two days off. I wonder if I can totally waste those two days like I have done others? I don't mean to waste my days but I will, probably. It is just the way things sometimes work out.

I guess in that way I am like the government when it came to the Katrina disaster. They meant to build levees and storm walls and housing that wouldn't kill people. They just didn't get around to it. Hey, it happens. The government had other things to do with our money. Like build the ill-fated Superdome and start wars in oil rich countries. So we have poverty at home and it's hard to find a job that pays a decent living wage, this is America, we can borrow our way out of any problem.

After all, it is hard to make hard decisions, that's why it is called "hard". The politicians know this is hard which is why they choose to not make any decisions. Instead they sit back and collect their bribe money, oops, I meant "campaign contributions". Bribery makes a decision easier to make. You suddenly have a clear cut way to vote and you end up with a tidy sum to boot. What keeps politicians from making the big decisions like gun control and health care is that with these issues there are actually too many bribes,er "campaign contributions". When you get money from both sides of the issues so you can just sit back in the middle and say, "yes Mr.Drugmaker/HMOGuy/Doctor,pro/anti gun control nut, whatever; I would love to vote for/against that issue. Maybe you should buy me lunch. In Aruba." And in this way democracy plods on. At the same time other issues don't get any attention and this is for the simple reason that they don't come up with enough bribe, uh "campaign contributions". Homeless people don't contribute much to either party. Neither do the working poor. All we do is vote. And according to the results of the previous elections that kind of thing is mattering less and less.

Rock the vote! Yeah! Rock the vote my ass...

Not that I have anything against bribery per se. I would be more than happen to bribed about just about anything at any time. Not that anyone is bribing me but I just thought I would make it clear that I can be bribed.

The main problem with bribing someone isn't that you have to give them money, the problem is that their is no price list and you never know if they will actually do what you have paid them for.

Example: You want a table at a fancy restaurant but the wait is endless. How do you get to the front of the line so that you can get your ladyfriend fed and drunk enough so that you can get home at a reasonable hour and get some of that sweet, sweet booty? Obviously this calls for a bribe. Here is the quandary you face as you walk up to the dude in the penguin suit in front of the big book. How much is "Frenchy" going to take and will he just palm the cash and still make you wait or worse, give you a table near the bathroom or kitchen ensuring that there will be no booty for you?

I believe there should be no stigma in taking or giving a bribe. If you want the table you should be able to walk up to the guy and say, "Yo Frenchy, how much to put me and my fine lady into a sweet table by the window?" Then you flash the cash. Soon enough you are either still waiting or basking in the rockstar-esque feel of a bribe well done. I know some might say that bribery leads to corruption and people getting things that they don't deserve, but hell, sometimes shit happens and you need to grease the wheels. And at least then you know where you stand. If someone is corrupt enough to take a bribe it also means that they are open to other possibly illegal means of persuasion. Which again, is not always a bad thing. I mean earning things on just your abilities and connections isn't always fair either. What happens to the person with no abilities and no connections? Money seems to be a fairer system than who your dad happened to go to collage with, don't you think?

The Emmy awards were yesterday. I don't know who won. If Deadwood wasn't nominated I don't care. I really got into that show. It is a semi-factual depiction of life in the town of Deadwood back in the gold rush. Lots of cursing and double dealing. Add a touch of whoring (not that I have ever touched a whore) and murder with a whole bunch of good story telling and you got the right mix.

It's when you see a show this good, like with The Sopranos, that you realize just how crappy and uninteresting most of the stuff that you have ever watched on TV is. It shows what you can do when you worry about story first and foremost. Either way I got good news and bad news, the good news is that Deadwood is going to be doing a third season, the bad news is that I don't have HBO so I don't know when I will be able to see season 2 never freaking mind season 3. Ah, but what you gonna do, huh? It just shows you never should look forward to anything. You should just enjoy the moment because no one is guaranteed tomorrow.

And if I was guaranteed tomorrow it better be money back. Because if I don't get my ass up and get some errands done I need to get a refund. I put these chores off long enough. It's just that when I am laying in bed and its so nice and comfy and I don't have to get up for work, the idea of moving just seems absurd. It's like the Great Galapagos Tortoise. Yes, they can move, but with food, water, and sexy female tortoises (torti?tortoises?) nearby and looking oh so sexy, what is the point? Better to just stay in the shell, pull the head in when it gets too hot, chew on some grass and enjoy being a freaking tortoise because life don't get much sweeter. Then every once in a while you throw the old bone to the lady tortoises doing your "maintaining the species" thing and then take a nap for a month. Hell, if you could throw TV in there some where I very much would not mind being a tortoise.

I think that maybe it. But maybe not. Have to see how I feel Laterzzz...