Brain Splatter

Hi kids! What's shaking? Nothing here just working like a dawg. Maybe not a dog like an Australian Shepherd or Boarder Collie but maybe like a poodle, or a wiener dog. Woof! I shall refrain from making any leg humping jokes here but feel free to joke amongst yourselves.

I have been listening to Guns and Roses alleged "greatest hits" I am a big GnR fan from way back and this is a solid compilation but it doesn't have a few songs I consider essential. But that is what the original CD's are for. I mean one could argue that Appetite for Destruction is a greatest hits album all to itself. This is serviceable though. And it beats some of the crap that people play at their desks. All I have to do is keep it low so as not to offend the sensibilities of the more delicate types. Delicate types irritate me. This a fucking America deal with the power of the expletive.

My God I am tired and not just a little bit randy. As I sit here at work, typing this and hoping no one looks over my shoulder and that the Eye Tee guys are not screening emails, all I can think is that I have a pretty large desk here. Someone could fit quite easily underneath. The someone underneath could sort of do things to me while they were under the desk. I am not talking about tying my laces together or giving me a hotfoot. Nor am I referring to a pedicure and foot massage. Not that I would object to either. Must be something in the air today. I feel like a rooster when the new chickens arrive! Its time to jump up on the fence and crow. Cock-a-doodle Oh hell yeah!

Its almost like spring is in the air. It's not though. It's summer. But I don't care. I just feel that way. Now all I really need is to find a girl who will take advantage of me in all kind of interesting and creative and if I am lucky illegal in some southern states. I mean I don't want some freak, oh wait, yeah I kinda do. And what kind of girl do I like? Tall? Short? Brunette? Blonde? Redhead? Big girl, petite or somewhere in between? Small perkies or big and bouncy jubblies? Tight bottom or a ghetto booty? Black, white, Asian, Cherokee or Samoan? The answer is--Yes Please! I will take any and all combinations.

If you stroke my fancy (so to speak) you can be just about anything. I just want you to have a brain, have a heart, and maybe laugh at my jokes every once in awhile. Hell, even I don't think I am funny more than like 10% of the time. I would also want a woman who like to just be with me and accepts me for who I am and might even help me to be better. That's the weird thing, looks and lust they only go so far. I think a woman who can make me think and can carry on a conversation but may not be super model looking is awesome. I mean in the dark what does it matter anyway? Limiting yourself to some preconceived idea of what is beautiful is dumb. I also think that for me at least inner beauty can make outer beauty better. It enhances so to speak. Like botox. Except if you have a great personality you can show emotion on your face.

OK, I am going to go to lunch. Maybe scope out some hot chicks. Or chicken wings.I am not sure what is for lunch. I am kinda hungry but not really. I am hungry for something that they don't have down in the grill. Something tasty and sloppy and lo-cal. Something that satisfies but always leaves you wanting more. I want to sit down to a big meal and I also want to be the main course. I don't want food! Food I got! I want something that you can buy, but it is oh, so much better when it is given away. Damn! I think I need to end this now before I get all carried away. But you know what? I really don't care about getting carried away. I am tired of being lonely. Shit needs to change. Any takers? No? Damn. Laterzzz...