Saturday, June 11, 2005
Just a couple of things--
Hi kids. Glad to see you all back for Mr. Biff's story time and fashion parade. I watched the news and it there are two things that irritated me this afternoon. So I am going to rant about them.
The first on being the coverage of the tropical storm in Florida. "Oh my god it is raining everyone run for the freaking hills. Wait, we live in Florida, there are no hills.We are going to die!" It is not even a frikking hurricane and CNN is all over it like Godzilla is coming in off the shore of Japan. It just shows you what a slow news day it is and also what terrific pussies the people of Florida are. What? Yeah, I called you pussies, step up or step off!
You live in a near the tropics. You will get tropical storms. In the tropics, every fucking storm is a tropical storm moron. Not a reason for panic. If you are scared of your house blowing away read on...
These are the facts and people have known this kind of thing for awhile, come closer and I will whisper it to you...if you live near the water, build better buildings. Simple. And if you build crappy buildings and the wind and rain and whatever the hell knocks them down, I guess you lose. Not that I want to see people homeless but come on this is pretty simple stuff.
Oh, also, God hates mobile homes--that is a fact. That is why mother nature is always kicking the shit out of them. If you live in a mobile home you have a giant target on your roof and it is probably just a matter of time. You'd be safer wearing a boloney suit in bear country. You might have a better chance wearing a Klan outfit in Harlem. People ask me,"Biff, why does God hate mobile homes?" The answer is simple and has to do with the name. When you have a mobile home that never goes anywhere it is a direct insult to God. I mean jeez, it is right there 'mobile' homes. They are supposed to move, and one way or another whether behind a car or moved by hundred and fifty mile an hour winds it makes no difference to Momma nature, they are gonna move.
The second thing that irritated me is the coverage of that girl missing in Aruba. I almost typed killed. I guess we don't officially know yet. But lets face it...she is probably dead. The parts that got me somewhat mad are that her school had a trip to Aruba, that she was drinking in a club, she got into a car with locals, and her "friends" let her go. Now I don't know all the facts so I am just going to go from my memory and what I think I know.
First off, when you are in another country you have to remember something--YOU ARE NOT IN AMERICA! People from other countries see us as rich, fat, and privileged and will take any opportunity to rob, humiliate, and hurt us. You have to think that way. I know it is not pretty and you will find good people everywhere but you have only one you so you have got to watch your ass.
Second. what kind of high school sends kids on a tropical vacation and lets them go out drinking? What kind of absentee parents are these? Did they check the drinking age. Young people today are more immature than ever. Its not their fault, they were raised to be little kids by parents who just want to be cool. Fuck em. Your kid getting drunk in America is bad enough but in a foreign country. Doesn't any believe in self-preservation?
Third and fourth--come on. A hot blond girl. Locals. Maybe they are of color, maybe not, that doesn't really matter. What matters is that no one was watching this girl's back when she got in the car. But you know what? The biggest blame goes to her. If you are a girl and you get into a car with guys you don't know and they rape you, or murder you, or whatever on some level you have to take the responsibility. I know you may say that no means no but lets be honest, that is just plain old stupidity. I am sorry and I feel bad for her if she suffered, which she probably did, but come on, how stupid can you be? What world do you live in where you think this is a good thing? Guys are always guys, and even if they are nice guys, they still would want to get in her pants. That's just nature. Morals and high ideals and new adventures are good and fine but we are still animals and sometimes you have got to realize no one gets out of this alive and that in the end you have to watch out for yourself. She didn't do that or she would still be alive. Simple.
See, there I go again. I didn't want to go all serious but I guess I did. These are just my thoughts right now. Soon they will change and I will hopefully write something witty and amusing and maybe just a little thought provoking. I hope you don't mind even when I go to a place that may make you uncomfortable... and if you do mind--so? This is my Brainsplatter; don't get any on you. Laterzzz....
The first on being the coverage of the tropical storm in Florida. "Oh my god it is raining everyone run for the freaking hills. Wait, we live in Florida, there are no hills.We are going to die!" It is not even a frikking hurricane and CNN is all over it like Godzilla is coming in off the shore of Japan. It just shows you what a slow news day it is and also what terrific pussies the people of Florida are. What? Yeah, I called you pussies, step up or step off!
You live in a near the tropics. You will get tropical storms. In the tropics, every fucking storm is a tropical storm moron. Not a reason for panic. If you are scared of your house blowing away read on...
These are the facts and people have known this kind of thing for awhile, come closer and I will whisper it to you...if you live near the water, build better buildings. Simple. And if you build crappy buildings and the wind and rain and whatever the hell knocks them down, I guess you lose. Not that I want to see people homeless but come on this is pretty simple stuff.
Oh, also, God hates mobile homes--that is a fact. That is why mother nature is always kicking the shit out of them. If you live in a mobile home you have a giant target on your roof and it is probably just a matter of time. You'd be safer wearing a boloney suit in bear country. You might have a better chance wearing a Klan outfit in Harlem. People ask me,"Biff, why does God hate mobile homes?" The answer is simple and has to do with the name. When you have a mobile home that never goes anywhere it is a direct insult to God. I mean jeez, it is right there 'mobile' homes. They are supposed to move, and one way or another whether behind a car or moved by hundred and fifty mile an hour winds it makes no difference to Momma nature, they are gonna move.
The second thing that irritated me is the coverage of that girl missing in Aruba. I almost typed killed. I guess we don't officially know yet. But lets face it...she is probably dead. The parts that got me somewhat mad are that her school had a trip to Aruba, that she was drinking in a club, she got into a car with locals, and her "friends" let her go. Now I don't know all the facts so I am just going to go from my memory and what I think I know.
First off, when you are in another country you have to remember something--YOU ARE NOT IN AMERICA! People from other countries see us as rich, fat, and privileged and will take any opportunity to rob, humiliate, and hurt us. You have to think that way. I know it is not pretty and you will find good people everywhere but you have only one you so you have got to watch your ass.
Second. what kind of high school sends kids on a tropical vacation and lets them go out drinking? What kind of absentee parents are these? Did they check the drinking age. Young people today are more immature than ever. Its not their fault, they were raised to be little kids by parents who just want to be cool. Fuck em. Your kid getting drunk in America is bad enough but in a foreign country. Doesn't any believe in self-preservation?
Third and fourth--come on. A hot blond girl. Locals. Maybe they are of color, maybe not, that doesn't really matter. What matters is that no one was watching this girl's back when she got in the car. But you know what? The biggest blame goes to her. If you are a girl and you get into a car with guys you don't know and they rape you, or murder you, or whatever on some level you have to take the responsibility. I know you may say that no means no but lets be honest, that is just plain old stupidity. I am sorry and I feel bad for her if she suffered, which she probably did, but come on, how stupid can you be? What world do you live in where you think this is a good thing? Guys are always guys, and even if they are nice guys, they still would want to get in her pants. That's just nature. Morals and high ideals and new adventures are good and fine but we are still animals and sometimes you have got to realize no one gets out of this alive and that in the end you have to watch out for yourself. She didn't do that or she would still be alive. Simple.
See, there I go again. I didn't want to go all serious but I guess I did. These are just my thoughts right now. Soon they will change and I will hopefully write something witty and amusing and maybe just a little thought provoking. I hope you don't mind even when I go to a place that may make you uncomfortable... and if you do mind--so? This is my Brainsplatter; don't get any on you. Laterzzz....
// posted by Biff Manly @ 8:52 PM 
