Friday, October 27, 2006
Fried Squirrel
A squirrel got electrocuted here where I live. I don't mean in my apartment but out on one of the poles. It caused the power to go out for about three hours. I found out from one of my neighbors that this isn't the first time that a squirrel has gotten itself barbecued.
Some days I come home and the clocks are flashing. That is an indication that the power has gone out. I don't usually wonder why but I guess from now on I will. And to be honest, now I am a little worried.
First off, what is the problem with squirrel self-asteem right now? I mean you can understand one squirrel feeling kind of depressed might decide to end it all, but two? Is there something going on where the squirrels are finding that they can't go on and suicide is the only answer? I think I would want to know what is driving the squirrels to end it all.
Could it just be that the squirrels stepped in the wrong place? That for some reason they felt they had to go across that line and that was it for them? I always thought that squirrels were smarter than that. You know there are always more of them around then you can see, so I figure one squirrel makes a bad step and Zap!, that is it for him. Once the other squirrels stop laughing you would think they would avoid that line. But for some reason, this one today did not. That leads me to only one conclusion: murder.
There is a squirrel serial killer out there. One of the cute, furry, seemingly happy-go-lucky rodents is a murderer. Oh, excuse me, alleged murderer. I wouldn't want to be sued by the squirrel defense lobby. I think there is a squirrel out there who is probably trying to hoard all the nuts and maybe is trying to bump off the competition. Or he just is a sick bastard who gets off on the kill. Who knows the mind of serial killing squirrel? I am just glad that I am not a squirrel because I would feel like a target. After all, how do you stop a mad squirrel? There are no squirrel cops. This isn't a fucking Disney movie. Maybe guilt will get to the squirrel and he will just off himself. I guess we can always hope.
I am kind of worried though. I wouldn't want a flaming electric squirrel to start a fire. That would be bad.
Oh, by the way, that picture is just the result of a Google search for Electrocuted Squirrel. It is not the actual squirrel. I did not see the actually squirrel. But I did see the little squirrel shaped chalk outline on the ground.
Heheheh, that was just funny. Laterzzz...
Sunday, October 15, 2006
Don't really have a title for this one...
I am glad to be done with work for today. It was just a busy day and I have had more than enough. Now all I got is four more days to go and I can waste away another weekend. Not really though. I am not going to waste it, I am going to be all proactive and shit. How proactive? I will be so proactive that Jessica Simpson will rub me all over her face. It might not help her get rid of any acne but I would have a good time.
I wrote the previous entry yesterday and I liked the visual so I am putting it at the beginning of this one. If you are confused well I guess that is just too damn bad. Now on too today's entry written mostly while I was at work and trying to stretch out 90 minutes of work into eight hours.
I find myself thinking about what I want to write at times. I would love to write something great. But I don’t know if that is even possible? I just don’t know if I have it in me. What if my writing is just a facet of my never being able to shut the fuck up and will never be anything more than that?
I know I am not a great writer. I may not even be a good writer. I may not even be someone worth reading to anyone who doesn’t know me, but is that going to stop me from writing? The answer is no.
I have written pages and pages that have never been seen by another person. Part of me would be embarrassed by people that I know reading some of what I have written. Especially my smut. Or erotica. Or whatever you would like to call it. It is not that I am embarrassed by what I wrote, but if you read my writing and then get to know me you know me on a different level from someone who knows me and then would discover that I write. Or even worse what if my sister read my work? I don’t know how I would feel about that. At least not if I wasn’t getting paid.
I think it has to do with exposing yourself. That is hard. I think when you write something, and let it out into the world you either fall into one of two categories. You have people, the majority I think, who are kind of like exhibitionists. They want to be out there exposed, putting on a show, even if they are writing something deeply personal. Then you have others who even though they are letting out their words, they do it is such a way where they can hide behind the veil of the writer.
I can let my words out as Biff and most of the time I do not have to answer to anyone about what I have written. I do not have to explain to anyone what I meant about an issue or be sheepish about something particularly nasty that I may have written in a story. That is a sense of freedom.
The one thing I do know is that I should write more. I should write every day. Whether it is a paragraph or two added to a story or a thousand word blog, I should write. If you write you are a writer. If you don’t you are not; simple as that. If you get paid for writing you are in fact a paid writer but that has nothing to do with what you write is has to do with money. Money is a whole other topic that I am not even going to get into because I have no illusions what-so-ever; I am probably never getting paid for anything I write. I do it for the love of it. I enjoy it. And it is a lot less of sign of insanity to spend hours typing at a keyboard or writing in a notebook then it is to spend you days talking to yourself alone in a room. You may get the ideas out of your head and into the world both ways but only one of them doesn’t get you carted away by the guys in the white coats.
As an aside, do they even lock up crazy people like that anymore? If you watch the news it seems like all the crazy people and perverts are running around free on the street. Or they are members of Congress, which is kind of redundant if you really think about it. Is it even right to call them crazy? They are more like a bunch of lying, cheating, no good, filthy, stinking perverts. I don’t mean the crazy people, I meant Congress.
I think I am going to have to end today with just a few random thoughts that flying around my head:
Why can’t people just shut the fuck up. Some people just talk and talk and talk and don’t say anything but then they say it at the top of their lungs! I don’t want to fucking hear you. Shut up!!
The thong is a wonderful thing. I know I am a pig but I can’t help it. I was looking at the site Wicked Weasel and I have to say, “Oh, Hell Yeah!” I guess it is just the female rump in general. Now, I am not what is considered an, “Ass Man”, but I don’t hate it either. There is something almost magical about a woman, with junk in the trunk, a nice set of jeans, just walking. It’s fucking hypnotic. And if that makes me a pig, well, oink baby oink.
I am going to lunch. I am hungry. I might tell you what I had when I get back. I know you can hardly wait. My life is totally exciting ain’t it?
Back from lunch. I didn’t go down to the cafeteria; I wasn’t really in the mood for anything from down there. Instead, I had myself a Ben and Jerry’s milk shake. And it was pretty damn good too! The flavor ice cream I got was Coconut Almond Chocolate Chip, I believe. It cost more than I should have spent (I wasn’t over charged, it is just an expensive milkshake) but what the hell? I am special and every now and then I deserve a treat.
While I was out in the mall, I stopped over at Brookstone. I was looking for the umbrellas that I had saw online and to my surprise they were the exact same price in the store as they were online. Now if I get it online there is tax and shipping. But if I get it here, I don’t have to pay shipping but I will have to pay tax, I believe. Plus, I get a discount because of working on the premises. That is a good freaking deal. Hell even if it just takes care of tax.
Pause
I just took a second to look and the website and it looks like I might not get a damn discount! Well that just sucks balls! I am not buying shit! They lost my damn business. I refuse to buy an umbrella at full price! Okay, maybe refuse is too strong. I PREFER not to pay full price! I am a cheap bastard huh?
I like Sharpies. The markers, not the dogs.
I do believe that is it for right now. I am going to leave soon and for some unknown reason the boss is coming in to work the second shift. Shit, she’s here. I can’t be seen to be doing anything but cowtowing and ass-kissing. I got to go. Actually, it is the end of my shift. I am going home. Yay me!. I might write some more Laterzzz…
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Just saying...
Why don't I want to be miserable? Is it even possible to choose not to be? Firstly I hope it is possible and secondly I have been miserable for far to long and it hasn't done shit for me. So might as well try the other way. Maybe I am just on a manic upswing but what the hell. I am trying for the positive attitude.
Speaking of manic, funny-ish story: we are at work, bullshitting. Somehow the topic of bipolar comes up and I say I liked when it was called manic depressive. I said I would rather be manic than bi. Well one of the woman I was talking with is bi, but not polar, if you get my meaning. I immediately looked at her and said, "Zip it!" Everyone had a chuckle. At least I did.
Okay, not too funny. I was just trying to practice my segues instead of just going off on random tangents like I do. Everything can't be perfect in an imperfect world dammit.
Speaking of imperfect, North Korea may or may not have a nuke. Now that is just great. A little more chaos in the world might not be such a bad thing. See, if the world is focused on these crazy little countries with their nutty little leaders then maybe they won't be so focused on the U.S. and will leave us the fuck alone. I am tired of these whiney fucking countries bitching all the time. If China has a problem with North Korea let them deal with it. Better yet, let's let Japan get all militaristic again and go in there and kick all their asses like they did before World War 2. The U.S. has been the whipping boy for so long because we decided to stand up for civilization and shit but maybe some of these parts of the world need to tear themselves a new asshole and we should just stay the fuck out of it.
Not that I am an isolationalist. I believe we have to have a strong military but right now we ain't got shit. Iraq was a fuck up. We should have got in there. Blown the shit out of the place. Killed Saddam. And then sucked the oil out of that fucking place like a hungry baby at a big titty. Then when we had our fill, we should have burped, had a diaper changed and left to go home and have a nap. That would have been my plan. Two years tops. Just enough to suck the place dry.
This is all assuming North Korea has the bomb. I think North Dakota has it. Maybe Bush should invade them next. I think that the rest of America can take them. They are kind of close to Canada and all. And if you have read my rants in the past, you know what I think about Canada. Can't trust them!
Okay, I think that I may have ended up in a place that I did not intend to go to. But that is okay. In life sometimes I guess you do end up in the most unexpected places, like California. Laterzzz...
I did some dishes, and now my hands smell like the rubber gloves I wore. I wear gloves cuz I got delicate hands. Laterzzz pt2...
I went to the store and got some Tide. Did you ever notice that Tide is the most expensive soap? Is it the best? Does it get closes $2 dollars extra cleaner then the rest? I would have got gain but they had a shitty one that I had never tried. So I got Tide with Fabreeze. I like Fabreeze. You can spray it on your clothes and they smell refreshed. Or at least not as stinky. Not that I am against washing clothes but come on, sometimes you wear something and it is still clean. Why not just hit it with a few spritzes and wear it again? Is that gross or lazy or smart? And I mean stuff like pants, not underwear. Underwear you just turn inside out and wear it again! Laterzzz pt3...
I didn't reread this post. I wonder if it makes sense? Or at least makes as much sense as the others that didn't make sense. Does that make sense? Hahaha! Laterzzz #4...
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Anyone got a handbasket?
Don't believe me? Just check out the school shootings. Three in the space of a week and a half. It does make you kind of sick. But I think that is the kind of thing that happens in those out of the way places. All the nuts gravitate to wide open spaces to write their manifestos and such. I know that, personally, the suburbs have alway creeped me out a bit. All that sameness. The reason for that could be that I always lived in apartments. Or it could be because of all the weird shit that people do in the country--guns, and bombs and weird religious cults? Or would that be an unfair generalization? And do I care? Probably not.
I just know a random gangbanger or mugger doesn't seem so bad now. Oh, and would the media care if this wasn't happening to a bunch of white people? So it goes...
Then you have that Congressman who has a thing for young, nubile, hairless, oiled-up, boy meat. Okay, I may have pushed that last bit a little far but then again who doesn't like the the nubile, hairless, oiled up, boy meat?
Well, me, for one. I am not gay. At least not in the hot man love kind of way. I do have a gay side. That is the side that can admire women's fashions and home decor stuff. That is the side that can watch Home and Garden Television or This Old House not just for the power tools but to see what kind of design they doing. That is the side of me that has to turn up the radio every time I hear "It's Raining Men" by the Weather Girls. I guess it could be considered a feminine side. Either way I am comfortable with it. I dig the chicks and I am comfortable with my masculinity. Except for wearing pink. Straight men don't wear pink. Sorry but that is just the way it is.
I think pink shirts on men might be another sign that the world is going to hell. Laterzzz...
